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[–] 87 points 7 months ago (16 children)

Do you think you could perform in front of either of the Obamas? I know I couldn't.

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  • [–] 116 points 7 months ago (8 children)

    I'll whisper right in Obama's ear as I cream on his back "this is how you dispose of bus loads of kids," then I'd smack the back of his head.

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  • [–] 16 points 7 months ago (6 children)
  • [–] 38 points 7 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 61 points 7 months ago
    [–] 56 points 7 months ago
    [–] 46 points 7 months ago (4 children)

    Y'all think you're gonna bang Michelle while Barack watches but it's really gonna be Barack banging YOU while Michelle watches.

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  • [–] 32 points 7 months ago* (9 children)

    I find Michelle to be attractive, so I'd say yes. Unless Mr. Obama is also looking to get freaky, then probably no.

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  • [–] [S] 16 points 7 months ago* (6 children)

    Personally there are exactly 0 US presidents I'd fuck. They do not deserve sex imo

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  • [–] 17 points 7 months ago (3 children)
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    [–] 14 points 7 months ago

    When others go low I get high with the obamas

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  • [–] 14 points 7 months ago

    go for the weed w/presidential seal. 🎡

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  • [–] 14 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    Do not accept, he only offers 420 do not accept anything less than 69420

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  • [–] 10 points 7 months ago

    Opportunity of a lifetime.

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  • [–] 9 points 7 months ago

    I am so tired of political spam texts. Now they're political spam sexts.

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago

    Hit it and STOP it

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago
    [–] 5 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    At least there would be more eye witnesses to help debunk Joan Rivers’ conspiracy theory.

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago

    Not gonna lie, I had to read that twice to make sure I wasn’t dreaming 😂

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago

    What a nice polite man!

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago