Many stolen hats....

Rafael Cruz*

Very credible

The great polymath of our age

Gotta work Mexico in there somewhere, that's where he felt it was his duty to be during the Texas ice storm disaster.

Bro sounds like he should be on an ICE list.

Sounds like a DEI hire.

Ted "my father was imprisoned and tortured in Cuba. I hate communists. it was actually Batista who tortured my dad" Cruz

"Ted Cruz is like wolverine if instead of metal claws three flaccid penises extended from his hands."

I wish I could recall where I first saw that, but it will live in my head forever.

You must understand that he requires the pressure to live. If that thing ever stops being the most unrepentant asshole to have ever lived, the outward pressure of his barely constrained sheer fucking awkwardness would no longer be balanced out, causing him to explode in a shedenfreudenstrom of impossible proportions.

He was born in... Canada?!?! My god. What have we done.

Makes sense, how else would you expect the Zodiac Killer to evade capture?

Canadian here. You have my sincere apologies.

On behalf of all Canadians, thank you Texas for taking that bullet.

How has such an unlikable man made it so far? Maybe I need to change my strategies, sorry friends it's time for hatemaxxing

And that's not even counting the hats he gets when vacationing during natural disasters.

How the fuck do they keep electing him! All I hear is how everyone hates him.

Only in the summer. In winter he goes to Mexico.

Fixed that for you!

Not even a beard can make him look cool.

Mr. Worldwide

Man’s résumé sounds like a random character generator 😭

Cruz is the answer to the question "what if an infected ass pimple became human?"

I stand by what got me banned from Twitter the first time; man would be smarter if he had lead for brains than he is now.

There was a time that such an immigrant coming to represent a nation of immigrants would have seemed so right.

Context matters.

More like ass hat

Aside from ‘representing country of Israel’, that should read as a compliment to what the US is supposed to stand for.

Shame it’s the opposite, but that’s on them.

whole state of Texas is "Leopards at my face" on this.

Is the hats thing diminutive? I don't want to continue accidentally insulting people if so.

Mah Gawd, is that the third repost of this exact image Ah've seen this week?!