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[+] 172 points 7 months ago (50 children)
  • [–] 63 points 7 months ago (5 children)

    I think I'll go fight for the Canadians in the coming war.

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  • [–] 106 points 7 months ago (13 children)

    A draft would be a civil war, especially if they set it at 42.

    Nobody would fucking go, and we'd see ICE agents used to round up anyone "military aged" starting in poverty striken neighborhoods and eventually expanding.

    trump's dumb enough to try it tho, so we're probably gonna find out.

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  • [+] 32 points 7 months ago (4 children)
  • [–] 20 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    Then there’s the timing of the announcement that Barron is ineligible to serve because he’s too tall or some shit

    I had to look that up. Apparently the limit is 6'8", and they claim he's 6'9". Now, the kid is clearly a tall motherfucker, but how much y'all wanna bet he actually tops out at 6'7"? (6'9" is 205.74cm)

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  • [–] 12 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    He might be five inches taller than trump really is, but that would put him at 6'4"ish.

    Not the unbelievable 6'7" that's 5 inches taller than trump's fake height.

    There's a very real chance trump doesn't know he lies about his own height so in his orbit everyone adjust so his 6'2" height can be rationalized. It explains why he can't believe celebrities/athletes whose real (or close) height is well known.

    They dont play trumps adjustment game, so in his head it doesn't make sense they're so much bigger.

    When I played sports in college did the opposite when out at bars. Every guy shaved 4-5 inches off our height because we were tall enough someone would ask. And any guy not in on the joke would lose their shit because it looked like they were lying.

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    This is a fucking hilarious joke to play on friends I've never heard of that before.

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  • [–] 6 points 7 months ago

    The joke wasn't on our friends, it was on any dude that followed a girl over when she'd ask how tall any of us were. Which happened at least once a night at bars when we'd go out as a team.

    We all knew to give the "short height" and when she didn't believe the first one, shed start asking everyone, getting heights that logically lined up until she'd ask anyone we didn't know, who would tell her the real height, which sounded like an obvious lie.

    It was very chaotic, but especially for college age guys (at least back then) it really really fucked with people. If someone hears a group of guys is lying about their heights, they come over expecting a bunch of people adding a couple inches and eager to prove them wrong.

    But it was just some casual gaslighting for funsies.

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  • [–] 9 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    Huh, so their logic is draft me, give me a gun, teach me to shoot, and throw a military parade birthday party.

    This is going to be one for the books.

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  • [–] -2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

    Lol the draft isn't going to start a civil war

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  • [+] [S] 30 points 7 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 24 points 7 months ago* (12 children)

    It's okay, just made a not so subtle reference to fragging. You might be locked up but you won't be murdering some innocent child who was born the wrong color!

    That's my plan at least. Lol but the exasperated kind of lol not like a haha yknow

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  • [–] 11 points 7 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 0 points 7 months ago (4 children)

    The issue with assuming you can use fragging as an option is how it assumes you'll be near anyone that deserves a fragging. You'll likely be grouped with other drafties.

    There was a Vietnam era strategy where enlisting decreased one's chances of being sent to Vietnam.

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  • [–] 6 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    Whoever is telling me go there, do that. I'm not looking for the General Supreme himself. Fight war not wars you feel me? That hydra may have so many heads you can't count em but I will be goddamned if I won't swing that sword when it's handed it to me :)

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago (8 children)

    I'm all for the draft on one very strict condition; it has to be truly random with no way for rich kids to get mommy and daddy to buy them out of it or into a cushy assignment. When the rich kids have an equal chance of dying in oil wars, there won't be so many oil wars.

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    When the rich kids have an equal chance of dying in oil wars, there won’t be so many oil wars.

    Are you sure? Considering anthropogenic climate change cascades, I highly doubt the rich care about their kids.

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago

    That's a fair point, but I would argue that that's far enough in the future for them to convince themselves it's not real. Dear little Chet getting shot in the face by Muslims next week is probably harder to ignore.

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago (2 children)

    How do you feel about women being required to sign up for selective service?

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    As a woman, I think if men have to, we should have to as well. That said, I also don't think men should have to in the first place. If you can't generate enough popular support for your war to get people to volunteer, then your war can get fucked.

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  • [–] 82 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    I can't, my bone spurs hurt.

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  • [–] 46 points 7 months ago (7 children)

    I think they should raise the upper and the lower limit. Let’s send 55 to 85 year olds. Maybe that way it will end sooner.

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    hey thats RUSSIAS policy now.

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  • [–] 7 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    And Trump will be following Russians lead.

    We lost 58,000 in Vietnam in over 10 years, and less than 5000 in Afghanistan in 20 years. Putin has lost 1.2 million in 4 years.

    Trump is going to fight a war like Putin, because he will see those deaths as a score, and the more people that sacrifice their lives for him, the more important he is in history. People talk about Hitler and Stalin because of how many people they killed, so if he wants to be remembered for all time, he has to get real dictator numbers for his war.

    BTW, when it becomes clear that he doesn't know what he's doing, and he is just sending American soldiers to die in an endless meat-grinder war, enlistments will end. Then he's going to call for a draft, and literally enslave young American men to die for him.

    Running up the war dead because he thinks it makes him look more powerful is typical Trump logic.

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    Fascism is but a cult of death.

    In such a perspective everybody is educated to become a hero. In every mythology the hero is an exceptional being, but in Ur-Fascist ideology, heroism is the norm. This cult of heroism is strictly linked with the cult of death. It is not by chance that a motto of the Falangists was Viva la Muerte (in English it should be translated as “Long Live Death!”). In non-fascist societies, the lay public is told that death is unpleasant but must be faced with dignity; believers are told that it is the painful way to reach a supernatural happiness. By contrast, the Ur-Fascist hero craves heroic death, advertised as the best reward for a heroic life. The Ur-Fascist hero is impatient to die. In his impatience, he more frequently sends other people to death.

    https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/umberto-eco-ur-fascism

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago

    It's the old propaganda strategy of making war, and dying in war, GLORIOUS and ROMANTIC.

    No, it's just stupid, ESPECIALLY this type of war. This isn't even being done for economic opportunity, which is evil, but at least understandable from a Capitalistic perspective, but this kind of war makes no sense. There is literally no reason or advantage to it. I think it was supposed to make Trump look tough or something, but it's only made him look stupider - even to his own followers.

    And we haven't forgotten the Epstein Files, we've just added this war to the list of his atrocities to attach to his name for all history.

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  • [–] 42 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    I hope they try and draft my ass. There is no way in hell I'll ever fight for this country again. Been there done that, don't recommend.

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  • [+] 41 points 7 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 30 points 7 months ago (6 children)

    Oh thank god I turn 43 next month…really dodged the bullet or draft on that one…

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  • [–] 30 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    The draft was already authorized to go up to 45, just hasn't been used that high.

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago

    I thought it was 44, and I’m seeing examples of that happening back during WW2, such as Pvt. William S. Frederick, Sr.

    Along the dusty road to Camp Gruber, forty-four-year-old Pvt. William S. Frederick, Sr., encountered his own son, twenty-year-old Pvt. William S. Frederick, Jr. Both were taxicab drivers from Olean, New York; neither had dependents; and both had been snapped up by their local draft board.

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  • [–] 60 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    Why did Trump get rid of all of that DEI stuff again? Wasn't the claim that it was lowering our standards? So, if that's true, then getting rid of DEI should mean we can meet our hiring quotas while still maintaining high standards, right?

    Because if they get rid of DEI and they still had to lower hiring standards for the military, just as they also recently did for the DOJ, then that's pretty conclusive evidence that their objections to DEI were completely about bigotry and not about the competency of the candidates.

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  • [–] 25 points 7 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 22 points 7 months ago

    Bring out your morons!

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  • [–] 22 points 7 months ago

    Well, that is not a good sign.

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  • [–] 16 points 7 months ago (8 children)

    If the draft comes, I guess this is a perk of having POTS. But I would bet being the only male I've ever met with it, they're going to do all the stupid ass testing because they won't believe my entire medical record

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  • [–] 10 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    I don't think they'll care about medical issues. They'll probably just send people with them to be canon fodder.

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago

    No they won't, but they probably will care when I can't complete training because I faint if I stand up too fast. Or strain too much. Or am outside in hot weather. Or get slightly dehydrated. Or stretch wrong while sitting down.

    Only so much they can do to motivate a guy who has no blood flow temporarily.

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    It's simply amazing to me that we're going to have to start funneling people into Canada and Mexico again to escape this stupid bullshit.

    This is basically Trump emulating Putin. 100% if Operation Epstein Distraction goes poorly, they're going to pull the same shit. And we still have (theoretically) 2.5 years of this shit to go.

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  • [+] 2 points 7 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago

    NOPE! Apparently neuropathy at a very young age. Quite possibly caused by a bad ear infection that went too long or was particularly quick, there's a part that attaches to the vagus nerve.

    I learned this because Apparently you aren't supposed to cough when your ear is tickled inside.

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  • [–] 16 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    But no beards ya god damn hippie!

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  • [–] 16 points 7 months ago

    One of these things is good. Unfortunately, all of it is in service of getting warm bodies to participate in Operation Epstein's Fury.

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  • [–] 14 points 7 months ago

    They'll need adults to join to help clean up the fucking mess of epic proportions that the current administration is creating.

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  • [–] 13 points 7 months ago

    Mark me down as having bone spurs

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