Seriously. I had better die before this happens.

We don't get coffee, and Nazis are back!? Fuck this world...

It just means instead of Arabica type beans, we will have to choke down robusta, the basis of cheap industrial coffee.

They'll figure out vertical farming for coffee quickly enough. It probably means coffee will become more expensive. Things becoming a lot more expensive is basically what adapting to climate change means.

Hey, there's still that mushroom-based coffee substitute!

I'm sorry for making light of a serious situation. I would also rather die than drink that cursed substance.

Why?

This is gonna be like the Gros Michel banana thing again isn't it - where decades from now almost none of the world's coffee will taste as good as it used to, and nobody quite knows why.

the roaster i like has a bean from honduras and that's what i'm betting on

The taste profile comes from warm sunny days and cool nights. That cycle is critical and why the best coffee comes from subtropical mountain regions.

Of course, to the oligarchs this is the end game. I equate them to the top tier raiding gears in WoW back in the day. They didn't want people getting purples so easily because it was prestige only they had it. They argued and bickered vehemently to prevent the average prole from being able to get it. Some people need to feel superior to others because they're often bankrupt of personality.

I feel like the scene in v for vendetta when she eats toast with real butter and was shocked. That’s basically our future.

Phillip k dick envisioned a world were everything was fake and only the very wealthy could afford real.

Solving the problem once and for all.

It's a bit too simplistic; coffee doesn't tolerate the overnight lows that you get outside the tropics and only grows between 25°N to 30°S. You could in theory grow it indoors with artificial lighting like marijuana, but that's really expensive.

It takes years and years to establish a reliable farm. Climate change is happening faster and more unpredictably.

Also, it's not just temperature/latitude that plants rely on, it's soil, elevation, humidity, and sunlight. Those are really hard to change.

On top of the temperature thing silence mentioned, moving coffee north would push other crops further north and cause a chain of issues

The problem is that those areas are in the subtropical dry zone, where water constraints mean we won't see sustainable large-scale agriculture.

nope we need to get ice from neptune to fix this now it's gone too far

Not the right type of soil is my understanding.