Don't do this.

You're supposed to season pistons and rods like you would a cast iron fry pan. I like to use a combination of canola and beef tallow, but a 5W20 works in a pinch.

Remember kids, a happy piston is a varnished piston. Keep those oil rings in place, make sure they're good and solid!

All I saw was Sauron

As a mechanic, make sure to use BBQ paint for heat resistance.

Why paint if you could wrap them instead, preserving the original paintwork

Make sure to sand them first with a rough grit or the paint won’t stick. You can also add sugar to your gas tank to make your sick piston paint job super sweet.

Use a pickaxe to add speed holes to your hood, and stick a flaming rag out of your gas cap and you’ve got the recipe for a sweet hot rod.

Well painting them black makes your car seem kinda sad. If you'd painted them red, that'd given you at least an extra 10-15 HP per piston.

Be fine, as long as they don't skimp on the waterproofing.

You’ll need a lucite engine block to show off your shiny new pistons.

For guaranteed extra performance, get an apprentice machinist to mill Z3 vents on the tops of the pistons. Less aero drag means pistons reciprocate faster, faster pistons means more powah.

I just pour some steel Shot Peen into a oil filler after an an engine rebuild

Instant engine knock