Nah, see, Federation has advanced haptic systems that can tell it's a butt and therefore not valid input.
Data's in the background trying to figure out why they just destroyed the mining colony, and realising it's those damned organics and their mating rituals again.
Riker's butt already did it:
The ship knows exactly who is where and what their intent is. The buttons are only needed because a direct brain-computer link would drive the computer insane.
If my 2023 tablet can tell the difference between my palm and my fingers, I’m willing to believe a critical control surface on a 2360s starship knows a butt when it sees one.
Hes probably raining down a barrage of Photon Torpedos onto whatever stupid planet they are orbiting. Who probably deserves it for whatever stupid reason the enterprise had to come visit them to help with in the first place. Like “oh our corrupt political system has us at war with eachother” or “our sun is about to explode.” Cry about it some more.
Didn't Jonathan Frakes often lean due to back injuries?
Integrated butt-recognition and -suppression.
lasers
Ok, let's assume they are capacitive touch. I think they may have made safe for sitting pants by then.
Ass-controlled space lasers? Are you trying to summon MTG?
Lyta
That's how he flirts with the ship computer.
Firing lasers with his ass.
This is a fundamental misunderstanding of Starship Operations. The weapon systems aren't energized and the console isn't in Tactical configuration unless specifically ordered so or the ship is brought to Red Alert. Given the casual nature of the communication happening that is clearly not true.
It’s not real. It’s just a prop.
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