I had a formula: "Hi!", my real first name, a brief mention and open-ended question about something I found interesting on their profile,, then closing with something like "Online dating can be a lot. I'd love to hear from you, but only when you're ready. No pressure. I hope you have a great day."

So about four sentences. It took me like two minutes. I got about 1 response in 10 instead of over 1:30 that way, at least from women. Success!

I then proceeded to have all of the worst dates I've ever been on. One person showed up on shrooms, a woman interrogated me about marriage and children within ten minutes of meeting, another seemed to be fabricating their entire life story on the spot... and more! There were good dates too, but soooo much bad.

Esp. If swiss

I think people's biggest fear with paying for the apps is that they'll end up in a situation where they are just throwing good money after bad and not getting anything for it. Then you get into the sunk cost fallacy and it's really difficult to get yourself out of that headspace.

The problem is the apps say that they have recommendations that you only have to pay to unlock but I don't believe them.

Ok well, I haven't had that kind of success. But success none the less.

The issue here, beside being a sample of one is that you immediately paid so other factors could be in play.

Yeah and they all suck as a result.

I keep meaning to have a proper look into it and see if there are any actual dating site / apps that are independent. It's a massive pain because usually you can't really tell if an app is going to be any good or if it's just another clone until after you've already signed up. It's quite the time investment.

In my experience with three different UU congregations, they can be pretty varied.

My former city had one that was Protestant-lite, one that was nearly neopagan, and one that was so insular that I felt unwelcome as a visitor.

i just don't like how it keeps so many trappings of traditional protestant church services, i mean i know why to attract more people since that is the dominant cultural force but just doesn't sit right with me to ruminate over the bible and pretend it is some enlightened tome of truth in a supposedly secular context

cries in engineering

There are no women, no natural light, and if you're lucky, someone other than the prof has showered today.

I am exaggerating, but not by much (:

No. College is: expensive, heavily skews young, has a lot of homework, has tests, and generally represents a significant time commitment.

Realistically, I should probably put more effort into finding a suitable recurring volunteer opportunity. Something that is based on personal values would presumably help with finding like-minded people while also engaging in an activity that is inherently meaningful to me.

i'd like to keep in mind that flirting with women in a work (or education) related environment is considered sexual harassment, which is not so the case outside (like 3rd spaces).

IME community centers are more like gyms and activity centers. But I suppose they could vary by region and by individual community center.

Jesus, stop judging people!

didn't you read? it says right there in the comment

Let's be honest. If you could marry a cat you would too.