The struggle is real. It's especially frustrating when you finally get the mental strength to try to get help, just to run into a dozen roadblocks. At this point, I keep living just to spite this abhorrent system.

The number of people who just want others suffering in my country is way too high.

Fuck BetterHelp

Oh you said pain/hurt/sore/discomfort? Get the fuck out of my office pill-head!

I was going to comment with a wry joke that shared in your frustration, but I felt very tired and sad as soon as I started typing.

Instead, I'll just say "Solidarity". I'm proud of you for trying to get better, even though the system is making that very hard. I'm proud of myself too, but I find it's easier to feel proud of people similar to me than directly feeling proud of myself.

I feel you. It's super frustrating. Don't give up looking though!

Ask some of your friends who have therapists for help. Therapists also seem to know each other, so a friend's therapist could give a recommendation for someone who might be able to help.

The suffering is the point. I don't think they actually want it to stop.