I eat them three down.

My four yr old eats hotdogs like this except he starts on a bread side in the middle

I stand mine vertically and shave from them like a doner kebab.

Edit: I meant shawarma. Pretend I said shawarma. Just forget it. I'm not racist!

Op used ragebait. It was highly effective.

Absolutely cursed image. I'm dying.

What is wrong with you?

No no no, wrong guy, Sgt ChowChow is entrusted with US Nuclear facility codes under admiral Hugh Mann. Now those are names you can trust.

If it's corporate, use brass knuckles!

Sock 'Em Boppers!

relish from the grocery store has gotten so cheaply made you have to strain it first. even, and especially, the mass market 'name brands'. i did run across one super off-brand, imported from turkey or india or something, that was great, though.. and like half the store brand price.

so unless i have that or strain the 'regular' stuff first, or just cut-up some pickles instead (what i've been doing more of lately), the relish goes on top. everything else goes on first.

Wait. Are you eating hot dogs parallel to the dog or perpendicular?

Use a napkin or suffer a minor finger burn. Worth it for the outcome.

You could even call it windmilling

Sometimes my back hurts to twist. So it's either that with the football hike, or shower. And work doesn't have a shower.

How are you eating your hot dogs that applying condiments like the picture would not last every bite? Top down?

Look, man. Just suck up and accept that it's gonna look like you're giving fellatio for a minute.

You just jam the whole column in your mouth and bite. Do you eat sandwiches top down too? Complain that you had to eat through bread and lettuce to get to the meat?

I need an illustration or something

Oooh, since they are all just disassociated globs of meat glued together in plant casing, maybe the move is to mix flavors into the meat before it's assembled.

I kid of course, that's dangerously close to spices and you can't put spices on hot dog meat.