Then there are the ones who have an easy baby, wonder what all the fuss is about, and then have a second which is a nightmare. Actual quote from friends of ours who had it that way round - "I understand what you were on about now."

There is both how easy is the kid and how much support there is around (not just from family and friends but also institutional). And then there is how fulfilling you personally find being “parent”. Honestly, it took me more than I would have wanted to find a parent-other life balance. And I still find the parent life to be a bit limiting at times. While I have friends that dove head first into the parent life apparently seamlessly.

I was a really easy baby. Too easy, actually. Didn’t say a word until I was 4.

I have 1 of each. The first is our impossible one. I still get shocked how easy it has been the second time around. Things I used to stress about or cry over how fucked my life is are non existent this time around. Don't get me wrong, a child, even a good one, is a huge amount of work. It's just crazy how different they can be from each other.

That's why I'm pro abortion. But not after the child's 10th year. That would be unethical.

We have one of those "major pain in the ass" ones, and sometimes I look at other people's kids and think how boring they are. Love my demon spawn

There is no easy babie. Maybe an easier baby.

where planes are going

https://www.flightaware.com/live/

https://planefinder.net/

https://www.flightradar24.com/

To get to the other side!

Parent of 1.5y here.

Without grandparents in picture I would go crazy.

I dont know where i heard it, but "children should not have only 2 parents". Meaning the grandparents, uncles, everyone else should parent the child somewhat.

Yeah, but that makes it much more difficult for the artist to show you shes drunk.

Oh I assume that was at a bar or something.

Even touches topics like, just because you like kids, doesn't mean you have to have them, you can teach, volunteer for after school activities, etc.

Plus parenting is a lifelong role. Your kids are gonna be 50 one day, and you'll probably be alive for that.

Personally, I've never liked children (the age group), but I have always admired some of my friends' relationships with their parents, and have always wanted adult children (that is, the relationship) of my own, so I had kids. And although my kids are pretty cool, I still mostly think other people's kids are annoying, and have only softened my views on that front a little bit.

Kids' parents generally benefit from unofficial "aunties" too!

Real talk. I said the exact same thing and didn't plan to have kids. My wife and I didn't have kids until she was 36.

Babysitting a cousin is not the same as parenting your own kin. It's completely different.

<3 sending love friendo

American father here. Not as far as I know. I tell folks don't have kids unless you're 100% sure. Even then, get a pet first. I love my kid. But boy, do I sure believe folks should get all sorts of tests before they decide now.

Kids are hard man, especially if you didn't have a good example growing up.

it helps to be enslaved to a system that forces you to spend an average of 8 hours a day working only to be classified as part time while getting no health benefits whatsoever despite there being essentially no government healthcare

*I'm including excessive commute and non-paid work as "working"

Maybe it's cause they don't get as much time off work to care for their kids as Europeans do?

I’ve heard similar from people, usually the “you’ll change your mind when you find the right person”. I am from the US.

The worst was a conversation I had with coworkers. I mentioned I didn’t want kids because it would be really hard on my body to be pregnant after a near fatal car crash (back broken and lost a major organ). One gal said she thinks all women should have a baby. So I said, if I change my mind I can always adopt. She said “I think all women should have their own baby, it makes you a real woman. Adopting isn’t the same as having your own, there is not the same level of love there”. Worst part, she said this in front of another coworker who was adopted from a not great situation into a very loving and supportive family.

She was a misogynistic asshat about other things too.

It's a self-marketing/preservation thing.

When the kids are infants, the parents are sleep deprived and miserable at times, we they get such a seretonin boost from the baby factor so they don't kill them (yay evolution). They advocate for others to have kids because it feels so great.

When they hit their slightly difficult years, that seretonin boost starts to drop, work/life balance becomes harder, financial hardship starts to hit as they need to feed them more and provide them outside activities. They still take pride in their kids, but need to tell everyone how awesome it is, but they especially need to tell themselves.

When they hit their teens, they're now providing adult prices for things. Cars, Insurance. There's little money left and little disillusion. If they had the kids late in life, their earning potential will end up dropping just as the kids leave home making bucket list plans harder to reach.

It's worse in the US because we have shitty work/life balance and almost total lack of public transportation / affordable heathcare.

The childless fare better and live more comfortably.

And we wonder why populations are in decline.

It's a childless person thing. Very much an outsider "I only see my friends when they're looking for time out" perspective.

If you want to see this in spades, you can go through the back catalog of Penny Arcade. Pre-kids, there was a ton of this "Oh no! Kids are the worst! They get in the way of all my drunken debauchery and time-consuming hobbies." Post-kids, its a tidal wave of "Look at what my son can do! Look at what my daughter is into!" and they're going out of their way to make life as fun and fulfilling as possible for the next generation, because that's what they know they craved at that age.

I'm starting to just be the person they want us to be because screw them. Like you said I've never seen any comic or media rubbing in the face of people with kids like these people without kids love to cry about. It's watching a guy in the cuck chair cry. You put yourself there, quiet down.

I used to agree but my hormones tell me otherwise.

I gotta say, it's been the exact opposite for me.

One couple has kids, and everyone passes around the baby making cooing faces. Six months later, half the block is pregnant.

Add in that there's this reflexive desire in a big community of like-aged friends/family for our kids to be friends, too. My wife has eight or nine different cousins who are all her age. And we all had kids within a year or two of one another.

Often it's more about validating your own situation unfortunately

🥹