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[–] 149 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] 142 points 1 year ago (1 child)

Violence baguettes violence.

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  • [–] 56 points 1 year ago (8 children)

    Why modify it? .... a good hard crusty baguette is deadly enough. If you crack it just right, the sharp edges are hard enough to cut open skin and flesh.

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 child)

    Take two baguettes. Cut one in half and carve a slot inside of it. Carve the other with a protrusion in the form of a knife to go into the slot. Harden in the oven while using garlic butter with fine herbs to create a razor edge. Sharpen with a whetstone.

    Then you can not only stab cops but soften it up in soup and eat the evidence.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    I know a guy that nearly lost its thumb because of a baguette. A piece of the crust stuck under its nail. He didn't paid attention at first, but it begins to become infected and necrotic. Ended up in the hospital for surgery and antibiotics.

    Never underestimate the baguette.

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  • The one positive thing you could say about the bread products around him was that they were probably as edible now as they were on the day they were baked. Forged was a better term. Dwarf bread was made as a meal of last resort and also as a weapon

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  • [–] 37 points 1 year ago (1 child)
  • [–] 31 points 1 year ago

    Somebody touch my baguette!

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  • [–] 29 points 1 year ago

    Wait til that "assault with a deli weapon" guy hears about this

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  • [–] 19 points 1 year ago

    Add a gun and it's a Bayoguette.

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  • [–] 16 points 1 year ago

    Hon hon hon

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  • [–] 16 points 1 year ago

    I never leave my house without my tactical assault baguette!

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  • [–] 15 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    the baguette outfit in clair obscur finally makes sense

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  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Oh wow, I've never seen a stabaguette before!

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  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago

    hon hon homicide

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  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

    Were they riding a bicycle with a basket in front?

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago (1 child)
  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago

    There were shuriken in the croissants as well

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago

    That is aggressively French

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  • Portable Guillotine. I love quick access revolté tools.

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  • Mmm, this one has got quite a sharp taste. I'll take three.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago

    The French have mastered protest and revolution.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    Remember this meme: "you mess with Ratatouille, you get Stabatouille".

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    I love that they gave it a crumb as well.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    "Une graine dans le bocal piment" ?

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    https://www.reuters.com/article/world/fact-check-knife-concealed-in-baguette-is-from-french-novelty-shop-not-weapon-c-idUSKBN2781KE/

    the photo was taken at the shop Chaise Longue, a chain which specialises in humorous and original collections of household items and gifts. The product, called “Baguette knife” can be seen on the Chaise Longue website.

    A price label is clearly visible next to the baguette in one of the pictures shared on social media saying “Une graine dans le bocal piment” (“A seed in the jar – chilli”), which is the name of a Chaise Longue product. It is a jar of chilli seeds, which is part of a range of different types of seeds in jars.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    plausible deniability: I was just cutting a baguette (to be read in French accent)

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    Picnic-ready, self-contained baguette. Comes with a way to cut it. The other end (off camera) contains foil-wrapped cheese wedges.

    Pain vraiment complet.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    That’s sure to get a rise outta the police

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