Something new to try for Thanksgiving:

No. Your stomach and small intestine absorb most of the nutrients, your large intestine absorbs mostly water.

Yes.

For how long? Science doesn't know yet.

We can finally put a number on it when Musk passes.

From Wikipedia:

A variety of different mixes have been used for nutrient enemas throughout history. A paper published in Nature in 1926 stated that because the rectum and lower digestive tractlack digestive enzymes, it is likely that only the end-products of normal digestion such as sugars, amino acids, salt and alcohol, will be absorbed.[8]

Plus I think you’d have no lipid absorption, so you could probably survive longer than starvation, but I’m guessing not “quite some” time.

No, medically speaking, this is how you get Assburgers Syndrome.

Most people survive only talking out their ass, so I dont see why not

You can breathe through your rectum, too, technically; but it's not fast enough at getting oxygen in your system to keep you from suffocating.

I am suspecting that eating food that way may have the same issue. It almost certainly would not break up normal food enough without saliva, chewing, and stomach acids, limiting thr nutrients you can absorb, too.

I feel like there is a limit on "no stupid questions", and you flew past it at 100mph with that latin music drive-by meme.

Alternatively, is it possible to survive by eating only ass?

Oh fuck, I've been eating wrong this whole time

If we could eat through our arse, we'd all be living forever.