We have ourselves a pile of proctologists!

Bum science, specifically...

SHE'S A WITCH!

Now that is something I've never thought about before and also wish I hadn't read.

Anyway, I googled it, and hemorrhoids are actually not necessarily open wounds, and if they are, at least the blood is flowing outwards which might hinder the bacteria from getting into the blood stream. The bacteria from the asshole doesn't survive well outside the intestines, so there's a low risk of them crawling back up into an open wound.

However it does happen, and that could cause blood poisoning, which is potentially lethal if untreated. You'd probably want to treat it though because you'd experience severe fever and other clear signs.

I'll achieve this knowledge in the "don't worry about it" folder.

good one!

(insert fat joke)

(also insert insertion-into-rectum joke)

(also insert rectum-no-dang-near-killed-em joke)

Insert butt plug

rookie move, you start at 100 and move up to higher numbers until smooth.

Oh my pkcell

I just puckered involuntarily.

So do you just scoop it out with those shells or what?

You’re not supposed to use regular paper

MCGEE, IN MY OFFICE NOW

Just messaging so I can remember to save comments in the future

.... good point, I forgot about that. Thank you.

Is that toilet paper?

too French.

For a while I took my own toilet paper to work it was that bad

works in a literal jail

Of course, the 20 years of trucking before that, has made my butthole very tough.

Wait..

That did not come out right!

Certainly would make getting those blumpkins more pleasant

If you're joking, you should buy a portable bidet and keep it in your luggage.

November rolls around: "Is bidet running for president?" trends on search engines

I'm living in an RV, still have a bidet. I've also installed them in countless apartments either for myself or people I know. As long as you remove it before moving out, they don't care.

Seriously. Wipe until the brown turns red.