The man

Fake: anon left the house

Gay: anon is flirting with men

Could have been a compliment. You are not an intellectual yet, but you wanna educate yourself. Nothing wrong with that.

Must have run into a random Epicurean

Fake: somebody spoke to anon

Gay: anon daydreams about a man in the shower

How could I judge if Plato is relevant or not without reading it?

in other words:

“The safest general characterization of the European philosophical tradition is that it consists of a series of footnotes to Plato.”
–Alfred North Whitehead

If I were in that situation, I think an acceptable retort would be to hold up the drumstick of chicken I am munching on, and dramatically say 'Behold, a man!' then take a bite and totally ignore the random infatnilizing philosophy try hard as I go back to reading.

Maybe also, after a 30 to 60 second pause, nonchalantly ask if he happens to have any hemlock sauce, just to try to get a rise out of him.

Obviously encountered a believer in metaphysical immanence on the subway

Must be a Matt Neal fan

I mean even his pupil was like nah

I don't get this one. Is an intellectual supposed to read Socrates or something?

So what do real intellectuals read?