Maybe the new Framework Laptop 16 (gen 2) with the RTX 5070?

I'm really satisfied with my Lenovo Legion (2024 edition), and it looks reasonably normal. I've redacted my PS1 to give you some hardware info if you zoom in on the screen.

It also has a Led keyboard with various modes. I always have mine set to "off". Cooling schema can be selected via a hot key which worked out of the box in Linux mint.
It's slim, powerful, relatively lightweight, and overall great build quality. Easy to bring when on the move. Oh, and I included a partial feet Pic just for you <3

I thought my Asus G14 looked pretty normal.

Unfortunately it was a complete POS that never slept correctly or would randomly used the Nvidia GPU leading to like 2-3 hour battery life.

ThinkPad + Steamdeck is my new solution.

I despise the look of most gaming laptops.

it's not a "gaming laptop", it's a luggable with heat management issues.

As a spaceship owner, they suck. They are bulky and annoying.

I like normal understated looking laptops. I do however like RGB keyboards so I can set the color myself, typically red so it's easy on the eyes at night.

I didn't read the title properly and clicked on the link, expecting a list of laptops that look fucking bonkers. Was disappointed...

The nicest I've ever seen are Razers laptops - https://www.razer.com/pc/gaming-laptops.

They're nice build/build quality and look really sleek. However, I think the software/firmware can be spotty (had some issues with sleep on them).

I bought my MSI GS66 because it was powerful but the only "gamer aesthetic" it had was an RGB keyboard.

The MSI software was pretty rough to use but its no longer been a problem since I put OpenSUSE on it

What it looks like is pretty much at the bottom of my priorities when buying a laptop, I guess I’d err towards spaceship but not at the cost of something else.

I would never buy a gaming laptop. Instead I'd buy a SFF PC

That being said, of course there are many cases (frequent travellers) for whom a gaming laptop makes more sense, but for someone just going between home and college every few months or a similar arrangement, a SFF PC can fit in your luggage pretty easily and will be more powerful and cheaper due to having more space to push out heat and being made from a collection of upgradable parts.

My personal pick for most situations that I described would be an SFF PC for the more intensive things like gaming, rendering etc, and then a thin and light cheap laptop with no dedicated graphics for your carry laptop.

No Clevo laptops huh. They're about as plain as they get, since they're mostly meant for resellers like XMG/Xotic/whoever sell them in other regions.