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[–] 79 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I guess infancy is just about establishing a fundamental texture profile to use in adulthood. A standardised collection of mouthfeels. PANTONGUE™️

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  • [–] 15 points 1 year ago

    I was thinking exactly this while reading the meme. Our first experiences with the world are touching things and then putting them in our mouths. We build a cognitive database of touch- and taste-based sensory data from day one. Of course that’s going to inform our thoughts later on!

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  • [–] 143 points 1 year ago (18 children)

    The unfortunate answer is that it knows through long forgotten experience... Anything a toddler sees goes in the mouth.

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  • [–] 71 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    I'm pretty sure it's my brain extrapolating from that baby experience and combining it with finger sensations. I didn't have the opportunity to lick a basketball or (US) football but my tongue can surmise the difference in the bumps because my fingers know.

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

    Yeah weirdly (or maybe not) when we get down to it too, every sense is a sense of touch. Your ears touch the vibrations in the air, your nose touches the particles in the air, your eyes feel the touch of the light that hits them, skin is self explanatory, and then your tongue, which is touching on a very miniscule level while checking for all the chemicals and seeing if your nose is confirming that the touch is similar to the particles

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Disagree on eyes. Light is EM radiation, not a mechanical wave like sound. Your retina isn't 'touching' anything but the vitreous.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    Though isn't it a stream of photons that hit the photoreceptors? So not touch in the mechanical sense, but things are still "touching" in the colliquial sense, like a very minute and specialized version of smell

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (9 children)

    Some toddlers have helicopter parents who never let them put anything in their mouth. Will they be stunted in their growth and development and sensory skills?

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    I think you might be onto something.

    I have no idea how dick would feel on my tongue, because I've never had one on my tongue.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Interesting. Yes.

    If you feel this as a loss, I'm sure that if you let this be known widely enough in your friend group, someone will offer to help you out with the missing sensory data.

    And if not, there's definitely an app for that. Just put that on your profile.

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  • [–] 26 points 1 year ago (9 children)

    False. I have no idea what licking lava would feel like.

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  • [–] 24 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    A healthy anus can tell the difference between solids, liquids, and gasses.

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  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    just because it can tell the difference doesn't mean you can necessarily do anything with that information. sometimes that train, she comes quickly.

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  • [–] 20 points 1 year ago

    My fingers also know.
    As does my pp.

    It's the brain.

    The same damaged brain that can't tell how it will feel doing something it enjoys.
    That a fuck.

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  • [–] 20 points 1 year ago

    There’s an indie game that just came out called Dragon Detective, where investigation is about using the five senses, plus the sixth sense of magic.

    You would think that Taste would be a fringe-use sense that barely comes up, but no, this dragon really does lick the whole crime scene to judge the makeup of an object.

    “S-Stop! Please stop licking the walls!!”

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  • [–] 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Your ear knows how it will feel too, and your pinky toe, and your nose...

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  • [–] 17 points 1 year ago

    My tongue didn’t account for the taste when it longed for the anus last night.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago (10 children)

    I looked at a lint roller and I’m pretty positive I have no clue what licking that would be like

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    Lightly used lint roller and wet tongue? Fuzzy and tacky but slippery. Unless you dry out your tongue first, then it'll just stick in a weird and unsatisfying way.

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  • [+] 5 points 1 year ago (4 children)
  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    The silicone type of lint roller would probably feel like an unusually firm silicone dildo and the sticky tape type would probably feel slippery like postage stamp and taste with that sickly sweet chemical adhesive taste

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  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago

    The table leg feels like kiki and the football feels like bouba. Easy

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  • [–] 9 points 1 year ago

    Isn't this the same for hands?

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago
    [–] 6 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I've seen this before, but I have to wonder: has anyone actually tested it? Like sure, you can imagine what licking asphalt would feel like, but have you ever just done it to make sure your imagination is right?

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    Oh, my stars! Does that mean.... Oh, goodness 🫢

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    My tongue is defective

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    Now do the vacuum compartment of my Roomba. Mmmmmmm ...

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    You can very easily disprove this by imagining how an object will feel, and then licking it.

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