top 71 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[+] 138 points 1 year ago (34 children)
  • [–] 95 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    I can't believe you just spent an hour hotgluing brussel sprouts to a small tree just to trick people on the internet

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 90 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    I'll see your Brussels Sprouts, and raise you Cashews:

    Cashew fruit

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 25 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Aren't the tops edible too? I wonder how the little shriveled bean thing on the end became internationally popular but the juicy looking fruit on top isn't. Like, every cashew harvested has to have the fruity part too, what do they all get used for?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 56 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    I see your brussels sprouts and raise you pineapples:

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Fuck. Im in a hot area but not zone 10-12 hot.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • They may do best there, but I think there is wiggle room, at least for small scale cultivation.

    My dad used to grow them in 9a and they grew pretty well. But they need to be covered up or brought in overnight if it's going to get too cold.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    And here I always thought they grew like tiny cabbages

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago*

    they are cultivars of the same species. cabbages, broccili, cauliflowers, brussel sprouts,,,etc. Brassica oleracea, also includes kale and collard greens

    bok choi, napa cabbages are from a related species, similar bred.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    I've seen markets sell brussels sprouts on the stalk but I didn't know it had leaves.

    I figured the leaves were the brussels sprouts,

    Thanks for the info.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    On another branch of that family tree, those leaves are kale.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 32 points 1 year ago (17 children)

    Would you expect them to grow on a vine like beans or something?

  • source
  • hideshow 17 child comments
  • [–] 56 points 1 year ago (16 children)

    Bunched together or with leaves around them was my assumption, not individually like someone just bought some and stuck them in the ground.

    Didn't know we harvested them as baby plants.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 16 child comments
  • [–] 49 points 1 year ago (14 children)

    Oh no that’s not even them as babies. That’s like two years in.

    This is baby asparagus. It takes forever to develop to actual asperagus stage.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 14 child comments
  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    4 years isn't it? I looked into it back in the 90s, decided hell no. LOL, it was suggested to dig a 4' deep trench to plant them.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago

    That’s probably right. I think they become recognizable as asperagus around 2 years in. We had some, about two years in when were in a mobile home park. Swapped owners so they hired new lawn keepers… who fucking killed them right when they were almost harvestable god I was so mad.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    It's extremely low maintenance once it establishes though which is nice.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

    I'm sorry, I'm still in awe that anyone would hear that asparagus needs two years to grow enough for a viable harvest and still think it's worth doing

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    It takes several years, many seasons, much sun and rain for such a magnificent vegetable to grow to maturity and be ripe for the harvest.

    Unfortunately it tastes like ass, has the texture of twine and makes your piss stink.

    Vile weed.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    I just need to know if you’ve given properly sautéed asparagus in olive oil and garlic a chance. If you’re basing this on mom’s boiled mush you need to give it a second chance.

    Also I personally find it funny when I get to piss stinky piss. Like farts for my dick!

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I tried many ways, my most successful was asparagus with a drizzle of olive oil, salt and pepper and a light dusting of Parmesan cheese. Put it in the broiler until the cheese gets a tan. Finish with a tiny sprinkle of really fancy balsamic vinegar.

    While it was an improvement, the texture was still not something I ever found acceptable.

    Also, if you're using asparagus for smelly dick jokes, I am willing to withdraw my judgement.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 31 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    never really thought about it

    I’m a breastparagus man myself

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (7 children)

    If you want them to remain white, you have to cover them in earth, the farmers make ridges of earth to cover them:

  • source
  • hideshow 7 child comments
  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Why would you want them to remain white?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)
  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Asperger = asparagus brings me happy memories of fooling around with this therms, I'm asparagus.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    if you seen agave and aloe blooming, its because they are in the same orders, thts why thier blooms looks giant asparagus shoots.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I've never understood this meme. Like what did you expect them to look like, and why is this apparently alarming?

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    So someone bought asparagus from the market, stuck it in the ground, took a picture, and it's indistinguishable from the real thing?

    Otherwise it's surely not a shitpost

  • source
  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Don't google what Hans Asparagus did to disabled kids!

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment