I've only rarely heard it used as a shorthand for "I/we/you can't get laid". I've always interpreted it to mean the first thing. OP isn't wrong about the second though, honestly. It is a skill issue.

depends on your circles. in feminist and leftist circles, it usually means the first

but most men outside of those circles use it just to mean "im not getting the dates i am ENTITLED to 😡"

I agree that we need to treat men (and indeed everyone, we're all victims) with compassion and care. However, I think these conversations often turn into tone policing our own community more than those who attack it

In progressive spaces, we need to make room for anger and negative emotion because they are how we express the injustices of the world. The problem is, how do we allow people to express that anger safely, without causing harm. To that, I don't know the answer, but I have personally found art quite helpful

Idk, I'm trying to also be sympathetic to that anger because it often comes from a place of hurt

It's as ironic as it is frustrating that so many of the same people who'd be outraged at the notion of a woman's value being determined in any part, by whether she is a virgin, will, gleefully and without irony, consider virginity not only a valid, but a go-to insult to use against men.

Double standards are so irritating.

Yeah, right? Sex isn‘t even a huge aspect of why I‘d want a relationship anymore. It would complement it, sure, but if the relationship otherwise is just an expensive, instagram story bullshit, body insecurity fuelled mess where eating disorder meets self-worth anxiety…fuck no!

I just want someone to hug and cuddle with atp if I‘m being real. Does sharing this on lemmy make me “weak” and “un-manly” in the eyes of society? Maybe, but that‘s part of a problem I honestly don‘t care about any longer.

To me, it reads like they're just extrapolating the statements from the loudest group of people who tend to yell online about the male loneliness epidemic (incels that blame women for their celibacy) out and assuming that's the majority opinion, which actually tends to be more referencing actual loneliness in general. Either that, or they just worded it a little badly.

I do agree that the rhetoric can be a bit detrimental though.

omg welcome to being gay, yeah you can have sex instantly 24/7 but it's absolutely soulless and soul destroying in a lot of cases. Intimacy is what people what but can't figure out how to have. That's true in every form of relationship.

I don't think that sounds crazy at all. I wish that this sentiment were discussed more freely in society, because I hate the stereotype that men only care about pure physicality in sex (and the corresponding stereotype that women only care about emotional connection).

Same, it was like a one night stand but with someone I had known and slept with before. I call it the n+1 night stand.

What? That's perfectly normal. First two times I had sex I was like, "THIS is what all the hoopla was about?!" Gf and I met at 17 and fucked like rabid wolverines. She had had the same experience! Two guys before me, meh.

Felt that way with my ex-wife. Woke one day, realized I was lonely as hell, with a wife and two kids! Thank god she left. Took the kids, had to fight like hell to get 'em back, but thank god she's gone. Proceeded to have many fine lovers over the next few years, landed my wife, could not be happier.

Trans people always have the greatest insight into these issues. Thank you!

Do you have any idea how many femboys just went for me? I have to reject them all as it won't work out, but I appreciate it I guess.

Meanwhile, a handful of women went for me. Like, I'm fine now with whatever happens. I simply accepted that people are different, and we don't all have to have the same lives.