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[–] 10 points 1 week ago (10 children)

but what do I do if I already took the pledge?

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  • [–] 8 points 1 week ago (9 children)

    Yeah! Exactly. I also want to know.

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  • [–] [S] 7 points 1 week ago (8 children)

    Yeah! Is the pledge more important? What if not killing a panda will cause more pandas to die? Maybe the intent of the pledge is to save as many pandas as possible? Then killing a panda is what you should do.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 week ago (4 children)

    What if the pledge was a psy-ops by anti-panda so we don't kill one panda now and millions of pandas die in the future?

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  • [–] 8 points 1 week ago (1 child)

    The needs of the many pandas outweigh the needs of the few pandas! Thank you for creating content!

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  • [–] 8 points 1 week ago (5 children)

    You guys are just now catching on to this? I've been killing pandas for so long, I'm proud to say that there isn't a single one within 50 miles of me.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 week ago (3 children)

    for each panda you killed you saved a million!!! what will we do with hundreds of millions of Pandas???

    we can't kill them or we get even more!!

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  • [–] 6 points 1 week ago (1 child)

    Million of what? 🤔 humans, flies, bamboos?

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  • [–] 5 points 1 week ago (7 children)

    How do you get the skull so clean?

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  • [–] 3 points 1 week ago (4 children)

    You have to cook it for very very long and then bathe in bleach. My girlfriend did this with sheep heads.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 week ago (3 children)

    Easy to boil heads when you're a pile of Nvidia's finest

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  • [–] 3 points 1 week ago* (2 children)

    Nah, this was before AI actually! Her family had a sheep farm, and when they would slaughter the sheep, she'd keep the heads, clean them into skulls, and use them for art sculptures and shit.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 week ago (10 children)
  • [–] [S] 3 points 1 week ago (9 children)
  • [–] 5 points 1 week ago (8 children)

    your claim that it's necessary

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  • [–] 5 points 1 week ago (7 children)

    Oh, it's my panda killing business, but just think about it. There are infinite possible futures so there has to be one with infinite pandas. Infinite pandas can only fit in outer space. If we like pandas we need to go to outer space ASAP, otherwise we're killing millions of potential future pandas. You can't go to space without killing at least one panda. Therefore we have to start killing pandas to save future pandas. I call this effective pandaism.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 week ago (6 children)

    Because I am stupid I don't understand any of this.

    What I do understand though: Dead panda = bad.

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  • [–] [S] 4 points 1 week ago (5 children)

    Then you're anti panda. Disgusting 👎

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  • [–] 2 points 1 week ago (4 children)

    You're THE antipanda! I will boycott your company.

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 1 week ago (3 children)

    And I will bully you and make fediverse mods ban you.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

    also is it a coincidence that the thumbnail looks like a neverslop kitto?

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  • [–] 4 points 1 week ago (8 children)

    Panda's are such a useless thing. Like, I genuinely hate them as a species. Out there like Nature's fucking Incel, can only eat four fucking things and none of them have any nutritional content. Can't fucking breed to save their own species and need a whole different species to create porn just for them to maybe keep them around. Can't be bothered to finish evolving from carnivore to herbivore so they can actually eat the fucking wood they decided was food.

    We kill so many fucking awesome species by accident but we'd better keep this literal icon of self sabotage alive because it looks like it's dressed like a mime and it's ok to laugh at them when they look like a fat kid falling down a hill. Literally only capable of being a marketable mascot.

    Fucking pandas...

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  • [–] [S] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

    Sorry to destroy your bubble but that's bullshit propagated by anti pandarists. Nature's fucking incel? You're a fucking incel.

    1. "can only eat one thing" - ultimate evolutionary pro gamer move. Evolved to eat the super invasive grass that grows with the speed of like 1 Japanese Jesus' height per day. And what's the competition? A rabbit? Come on, pandas win here by securing a constant supply of food
    2. "can't fucking breed" - myth. The fact that pandas still exist is a proof that they can breed. They only have problems with breeding in captivity, which is a case for most animals. Besides, have you ever seen a panda on tinder? Only as a wingman.
    3. "can't be bothered to finish evolving" bad news 4u dude, nothing ever finishes evolving. This is not how it works. Carnivores and herbivores are labels invented by humans because we humans like to label things.
    4. "we kill so many fucking awesome species" is probably the only truth
    5. "but we better kill this literal icon of self sabotage alive" - we wouldn't have to keep this animal alive if we stayed in our fucking lane and didn't destroy ecosystems. And it's not a choice between keeping pandas alive and keeping other animals alive, we can do both by not being assholes. And I nominate humans as icons of self sabotage
    6. "because it looks like it's dressed like a mime and it's ok to laugh at them while they look like a fat kid rolling down the hill" - yeah so what I'm not allowed to look at my cat acting funny? Or idk literally every other animal being funny or stupid? Cats do funny jumps when surprised, dogs eat shit sometimes and jellyfishes just float in the water and you're judging pandas for their pattern and rolling down the hill. But it's not a measure of animal's worth if you think it's funny or not. So fuck you.
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