"Nooo, it's because they're actually a 1000 year old reincarnated male dragon!"
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I don't think the people calling him gay see the woman he's dating as "used to be male".
Some may disagree but even the idea that trans women were ever men in the first place is kinda backwards. Trans people have the brains of the gender they are and we are our brains, not our genitals. Trans people are just adjusting their body to the identity they always were in the first place.
Also, even if you're ill informed enough to think its gay....so what? Why is being gay bad? Enough with the fucking bigotry already get over yourselves.
It's like misogyny, why is being compared to a woman an insult? Fuck bigotry, especially the borderline genocide happening to trans people right now.
we are our brains, not our genitals
This resonates. Excellent quote.
I mean it's missing. "We are our brains + long range signalling molecule emitting organs" is better but it doesn't roll off your tongue does it?
I am hangry when I'm hungry which means my stomach is a part of my personality (my responses to stimuli), not just my brain. Disregarding endocrine system is not scientifically honest.
Cancer (unwanted tissue) can change your personality (cancer is at the wrong place and actually changing brain signals or simply due to constant pain) and we remove them. Likewise, removing unwanted gonads can improve someone's well-being (it was causing constant misery = personality change).
Brains in general are mosaics as is all biology. It’s a bioessentialist take to view our bodies and brains as split in a binary manner.
For the purposes of this discussion it doesn't really matter what's going on with the physical structure of their brain. If their brain thinks and feels they are women then they have a woman's brain.
You've brought this up in response to someone saying trans people have the brain of their gender. I fail to see what relevance this has other than to give transphobes something to point at and be like "uh biologically speaking hur dur" when trans people express themselves. It's not important. Scientifically maybe it's interesting, but not in this context.
Kinda completely unrelated but one of the reasons the professional skater Andy Anderson is goated is his famous “your brain is YOU” line in regards to wearing helmets. Like, your dick could be obliterated today (apologies for graphic nature) and if you survived it wouldn’t make you a woman, unless you wanted to be, in your heart which is a metaphoric way of saying your brain and now I’m confusing myself
I think a big problem is just in language and preserving history. There's an idea of deadnaming and an implication you shouldn't use a trans person's pre-transition name, but it gets complicated when talking about pre-transition events, since the person was referred to (possibly posted under) their old name and was seen by the people at the same as the gender they identified as at the time, which can get really confusing and hard to keep consistent.
Could go so far as to argue it's revisionist to do so, though I don't really think so, but it might be running into some of the same problems in terms of preserving history. But it's mostly just hard to talk about correctly, respectfully and clearly.
My mom had a hard time with this until I asked her if it hurt more to fuck me over or rewrite the name I went by as a child. It clicked and now she has no issues just replacing my identity completely when talking about my past.
When everyone knows you by who you are now, revise history. Doing anything less will only confuse everyone and humiliate you for no reason.
Doing anything less will only confuse everyone and humiliate you for no reason.
That's the part I disagree with - I think revising history can itself be confusing. It's a price I'm willing to pay, I just wish there was a better way.
I'll also mention I come from a country with a strongly gendered language, where verbs in the past tense and adjectives are gendered. That sometimes makes it difficult to talk about such things, and might be making me worry about this more.
I promise you, relinquishing the worry and just using the current identity to refer to past events will be less confusing in practice 100% of the time. If you have a trans friend introducing them to new people, bringing up the past and needing to clarify that your friend is trans and proceed to misgender them the entire time while talking about it will be extremely humiliating for your friend and awkward for the people you're supposedly trying to help by making this pointleasly cruel distinction just for some misguided idea of consistency.
To be accurate, you are what you are, both mentally and physically. Both count, and both are valid reasons to be attracted to or not attracted to someone. What labels those are given can be nuanced or not, depending on the audience and intention. That's the reality of it all.
Nah idk about all this washy washy shit. Trans women are women. Trans men are men. THATS the reality.
Unless something has changed and we’re all robots, we are all biologically ourselves.
In terms of sex we all have a wide variety of differing traits that create a mosaic rather than binary understanding. https://theconversation.com/biological-sex-is-neither-binary-nor-a-spectrum-a-biologist-explains-how-its-multidimensional-289786
I actually discovered I was gay (or realistically just not straight) when my partner transitioned XD
Hi, local pedantic lemming here, one correction. She was not "born male," but merely "assigned" as one. Carry on.
I'm gender fluid at at any point I identify with whatever makes you feel gay :3
Why not both? Or just forget labels and fuck.
surprisingly I've never heard this (yet..)
miisha ur mania is hitting again 🥺
miisha ur mania is hitting again 🥺
Some things/people...it's better to let them hit :3
If you use "gay" as an insult, then you have cat shit where your brains are supposed to be
I'm not defending it in any way, but where I'm from, disparaging things by calling them "gay" back in the 90s was ubiquitous. So much so that LGBTQ friends of mine did it at the time and up into the early 00s at least. I don't hear it any more because everyone wised up, but at the time there was definitely a little bit of taking the power back using the term.
I mean I have seen people unironically claim the second scenario. And people seem to forever be attempting to claim 20+ year old women as 'children' whenever they are dating older men as well. Which, sure call the dude out for being gross, but don't try to rob an adult of their own agency. That always came off as weirdly sexist against women to me. Like a grown woman couldn't and shouldn't be trusted to make her own decisions. Which just felt like yet another way to control women, not actually protect them.
A 20 year old isn’t a child, but that doesn’t mean someone over double her age isn’t taking advantage of her youth and lack of experience.
What a weird place for you to take this conversation.
Agreed, I never understood this mentality. Not only is this extremely sexist (for no reason what so ever) but ageist aswell. I've seen this scenario occur on Lemmy (mainly .global), and the conclusion is always the same: the woman has the mental capacity of a 5yo.
Also, like other things, this behaviour muddies the waters in what pedophilia is - further straying off from its definition just to allow others to use it as an baseless insult and a deregatory term for the inflicted.
How is it sexist?
Probably in that it is often seen as fine when a woman is older, as long as the man is of age
I'm not sure how I feel, as I only have witnessed this scenario, not a teenage girl being with an adult man
not a teenage girl being with an adult man
You've never seen any teenage girl with an adult man before? Do you not consume media at all?
actually, who cares about sexual orientation in da big 26? Yeah! call me gay, I don't care!
I wish people would let these kind of comments remain on the platform they were original posted in. I visit The Lemmy Club to get away from content like that. 😞
Only flaw I see here is the correlation between people who say dating a trans woman is gay and membership in the Grand Ole Pedo party
I really didn't make this post with the intention of arguing about the semantics of labels. But I just want you to know, I disagree with you.
And also...at least in my experience, men who are like that are usually chasers. Not all of them ofc, but I've had the pleasure before. Yuck...
No.
Trans women are women.
If a person is really into the idea of getting fucked by someone with a penis, but completely put off by the idea of that someone being a big, strong guy, then, is it accurate to describe that person as attracted to men? I would argue no, as that is essentially reducing sex entirely down to genitalia.
Now, I am sure that some would argue that this is a thing that doesn't happen in practice, and that a man who is into dick but men is just in denial due to internalised homophobia. And I think that's definitely true in at least some cases. But I think an alternative explanation is that the man may be one of the humblest of God's creatures; the cishet male bottom.
Women fuck men with strap ons all the time and that's straight as hell. Why would that change if said woman has a real penis? That's like arguing that gay men that top aren't gay because an asshole is closer to a pussy than a dick.
Straight men that want to be penetrated by a woman is tricky though.
No. Men who enjoy being penetrated by women are still straight. Whether it’s a cis or trans woman, they’re still women.
I’ve pegged many straight men. They’re still straight after I fuck them because I am a woman.
I’m a cis woman though it doesn’t make a difference here.
I have fucked a lot of men with my strap on. A lot of straight cis men.
If a man identifies as straight, who the fuck are YOU to define someone else’s sexuality using your outdated views of sexual acts as gender affirming acts.
That you are reducing trans women down to a “feminine presenting penis” is bigoted behavior.
People attracted to trans women as women aren’t fetishing their penis or are otherwise attracted to their penis for penis sake. They’re attracted to women.
Our genitalia is not the be-all end-all of attraction.
My brain is fried trying to read through the comments here. This kind of shit costs elections. How about we focus on universal healthcare and UBI.
We can focus on multiple things at once.
I will not abandon trans people because it’s uncomfortable for some to see people talking about it.
Someone always seems to come and mention universal healthcare and universal basic income. I don't disagree that those things are very important actually, but bigotry is still bad. I believe that two things can be true at the same time.
Not trying to be offensive, not trying to fight. I'm just saying.
I was gonna write up an actual, polite and respectful reply...but you lost me at "vote Trump next election". Must be nice being so privileged to not have to fear for your rights when specific people with specific opinions, policies and (might I say, bigoted) ideas get in charge.
You're clearly either a troll or unfathomably silly. I honestly have no idea how someone can look at the state of America today and think "Ah yes, I want that again!". But doesn't matter you right? Not like they're slowly taking away your rights, life-saving medical treatments and even your humanity.
This has nothing to do with your dating preferences. You're a jerk for completely different reasons and this comment is extremely revealing.
Couple things:
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Sports aren't that fucking important. I guess we ultimately agree that pro/adult sports can do whatever tf they want. If you don't support that for whatever reason, just don't watch that sport. Personally, having done the actual ass end care for patients with chronic traumatic encephalopathy, I think American football is unconscionable but I know it's a huge industry that's not going anywhere and there's really too many unconscionable things in the world for me to focus on that one specifically. It's weird how much people care about THIS thing specifically when (as stated) there's waaay bigger, realer problems with the sports industries.
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Similarly, children's sports are also meaningless (except football being evil as stated), except in that sports generally encourage children to develop habitual activity levels that will later help avoid metabolic disorders and teach some group-work skills. None of those things involve chromosomes or hormones at all. Children need to learn to deal with humans who look and sound different than them to not panic, and hopefully even to engage in group work with a diverse team. So it's weird to exclude trans kids from children's sports, because that runs counter to the goal of helping them become well-adjusted. People are just gonna get way weirder around them as time goes on so they may as well get used to it now.
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Chromosomes also have a lot less to do with the final form of genitals than one might think. There are even non-chromosomal disorders that can make an XY fetus just not give a fuck about testosterone and grow a vagina anyway. Apparently before modern medical science that usually just kinda went unnoticed for most of the persons life, they were just assumed to be barren. Also if the testosterone thing is itself the deal breaker then like what if she's had some kinda hormone imbalance earlier in life? How would you even prove that? Biology is waaay more complicated than a coinflip.
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I guess it's not morally wrong to not like the idea of testicles having been part of a person's body at any point, but it is kinda weird. I really don't spend all that much time thinking about how any of my partners' genitals may have looked over a year ago. I'm mostly looking and touching them, hearing them make squishy noises, and occasionally tasting them like... right there, in the moment. If they had a nasty rash a year ago, I wasn't gonna be licking it then. But it's not there anymore, so I'm sure gonna lick it now. I guess it's also like... not wrong to not like surgically constructed/corrected genitals, but like what if they spilled a negligently hot cup of McDonald's coffee in their lap and it fused their labia together? (Sorry, that story is just wild.)
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You can be attracted to whoever you want, but also if you're otherwise getting along with the person enough that you mutually remove your pants, then see it's the vagina/penis you were expecting but with some kind of permanent scarring, and that makes you nope out? Again, not morally wrong. But it's kinda... sad. I've had multiple male partners with large circumcision scars that even affected sensation and functionality (again, off-topic but it's WILD that that's legal), and like... I licked those too. Where's your line between type and amount of trauma or surgical intervention or unexpected development and whatever "normal" is to you? Like, I could say all other things being 100% equal, I'd probably be more comfortable with the dick that looks more like I'm expecting a dick to look versus not but it also has the lowest rank on my list behind a lot of things that actually matter, like being funny and not being a rapist or hitting me. I have some visual preferences but pretty much none of them are dealbreakers.
You will vote republican and Trump anyway, no sane person would say stuff like that. Literally threatening people by voting for Hitler "noooo I always voted democrats but NOW if this will not go as I want, I will vote for Hitler and its your fault" What do you even mean? Should you drop all the support right now? What? You never supported anything, all of this is bullshit.
Women naturally produce very small amounts of testosterone. I didn't even have to read your paragraphs of bullshit to know you have no fucking clue.
vote Trump next election
You are sure that you want to vote for that monkey, just because some people are idiots?
When I started HRT, I noticed that gay dudes started to flirt with me.
Then after about a year, straight guys, even straight guys who knew me pre transition, started checking me out and flirting with me, and the gay guys lost interest.
It's fucking hilarious listening to incels cite "biology" to explain their second hand stories about shit they have never experienced.


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