I start beating my meat

There's nothing left to do. you've already done it all and will do it all. Including not doing anything. Just be the guy who doesn't do anything and let the quantum state deal with the other versions of you that do everything else.

Pet da dog. Obviously

Everyone can die, will die, or have been dead.

There's a dog that needs petting and that's my priority.

I put on my robe and wizard hat

Well I throw the rubber ball, obviously

Don't look.

If you look the train wave collapses.

Well clearly you already did everything already. And sometimes that's all you can do...

Lick the Lab

So it goes

You ask me for a hamburger.

throw the ball for the good boy.

Ive allready chosen all correct and wrong answers simultaneously so i believe i deserve thank yous and vitriol towards me simultaneously.

You're welcome and sorry for your loss.

I'm so close to making a meta shotpost about it,but i'm sure some version of me has already done it better.

Im sorry puppy. I have already thrown the ball and joined you on the tracks, it was a quantum inevitabilty. Good news though, I have also taken you and everyone on the tracks home alive.

I grab the ball, try to jump on the train so my dog and I can go on a fantastic voyage.

Futurama did it.

Someone's been playing too much Control Resonant

Goddamn you Wally! Just take your finger back, we don't care anymore ever since you took Rell away from us!!! Fuck the Tau, fuck Entrati, fuck the Warframes, just leave us be ffs, we don't need the void magic to do shit!

Insert the ball.

The correct answer is to pull the lever at the exact time so the trolley's front end goes on one rail and the rear end goes on the other rail. That way you Kant have any guilt since everyone's dead.

Control moment