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[–] 78 points 1 month ago (5 children)

The Electric Monk was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder... Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe.

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  • [–] 36 points 1 month ago* (2 children)

    This is from Douglas Adams’ Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, for those (like me) who haven’t read it.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

    It's very good. It takes a couple of reads to see all the interconnections.

    Here's another choice passage:

    "Well, it was a kind of back - to - front program. It's funny how many of the best ideas are just an old idea back - to - front. You see there have already been several programs written that help you to arrive at decisions by properly ordering and analysing all the relevant facts so that they then point naturally towards the right decision. The drawback with these is that the decision which all the properly ordered and analysed facts point to is not necessarily the one you want."
    "Yeeeess..." said Reg's voice from the kitchen.
    "Well, Gordon's great insight was to design a program which allowed you to specify in advance what decision you wished it to reach, and only then to give it all the facts. The program's task, which it was able to accomplish with consummate ease, was simply to construct a plausible series of logical - sounding steps to connect the premises with the conclusion.
    "And I have to say that it worked brilliantly. Gordon was able to buy himself a Porsche almost immediately despite being completely broke and a hopeless driver. Even his bank manager was unable to find fault with his reasoning. Even when Gordon wrote it off three weeks later."
    "Heavens. And did the program sell very well?"
    "No. We never sold a single copy."
    "You astonish me. It sounds like a real winner to me."
    "It was," said Richard hesitantly. "The entire project was bought up, lock, stock and barrel, by the Pentagon. The deal put WayForward on a very sound financial foundation. Its moral foundation, on the other hand, is not something I would want to trust my weight to. I've recently been analysing a lot of the arguments put forward in favour of the Star Wars project, and if you know what you're looking for, the pattern of the algorithms is very clear.
    "So much so, in fact, that looking at Pentagon policies over the last couple of years I think I can be fairly sure that the US Navy is using version 2.00 of the program, while the Air Force for some reason only has the beta - test version of 1.5. Odd, that."

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  • [–] 31 points 1 month ago (3 children)

    Christianity is like football: putting “American” before it completely changes its meaning.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 month ago (2 children)

    At best it just changes the flavor of bullshit.

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  • [–] 0 points 1 month ago* (1 child)

    Catholicism- The Pope

    American catholicism - [my lawyer has recommended I do not continue this joke]

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  • [–] 24 points 1 month ago

    Commandments 1 & 2, if we're getting specific.

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  • [–] 32 points 1 month ago (4 children)

    Out of the top of my head, this is at least idolatry, blasmephy, and they literally made a Pseudochristos.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    Pretty sure this breaks the no idols commandment.

    This is disappointing to hear. I like to think, alongside the garbage, there are good players seeking perspective and a better way to live as they explore religion. And then I read this.

    Worse, you could program a Jesus bot to speak hate, in spite of the actual acts of the man.

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  • [–] 43 points 1 month ago (14 children)

    When I was a kid, the christians were still insane, obviously, but they at least used to know a verse or two and would have been able to call this out as idolatry.

    The current crop still want to nuke the middle east to end the world, but don't even know their lore.

    Christians are a bunch of dudes wearing Ramones shirts who don't even know it's a band.

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  • [–] 14 points 1 month ago (12 children)

    The bible requires a 12th grade reading level to understand and at least 54% of these people are below 6th grade. They literally can't understand it if it was read to them

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  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (11 children)

    Tbh, that seems like a weird oversight- someone should translate the entire bible into simple language. Like, I definitely had simply worded bible stories as a kid, but there are plenty of adults who would prefer simple, modern phrasing, and plenty of kids who want more than just the story of Jonah and the whale.

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  • [–] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    The problem we ran into the last few times the bible was translated was who gets to do the translation. There's already evidence of tampering here and there.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago

    Well yeah, but there is ISO guidance for translating into simple language, and if a congregation can agree on an English translation, going from that into simple English would be a lot easier for people to double check.

    Actually, I went to Catholic school. It would have been a great exercise to have us translate a biblical passage into simple English- why the hell didn’t we do that?*

    • I know, I know, Catholics don’t want people forming their own views on the text without the intermediary of the church… but they definitely encouraged us to do so in a bunch of other ways, because they are trying to modernize a little. Plus, we had a teacher who was a technically not out to the students but very stereotypical (in the affected way that some thoughtful teachers who want to be obviously safe for students to talk to about gender and sexual orientation are) lesbian and we definitely had remarried divorcées as teachers who were open about that m, so it’s not like we were that strict.
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  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    Most of them go by the King James version because its the one their church uses and also they think any other version isn't the real Bible. Half of them haven't really read it outside what is taught to them by the church and they dont have the critical thinking ability to understand what they are hearing and interpret/synthesize it, to understand the broader context or to understand the biases of the authors and editors. Bibles do exist which translate it into American English (simplified) but they refuse to use it.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 month ago (2 children)

    Uh, I don't know how it is these days, but there definitely was a "modern French" version of the full Bible, when I was a kid. And that was an Adventist church so it's pretty sure there is the same in the US. I also had the whole bible as a comic book, very accessible.

    Are you saying that you need something like the Simple English Bible, for normally educated US audiences?

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  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    I’m not trying to comment on that, but lots of people everywhere benefit from simple text versions of things. That’s why there’s a simple English Wikipedia and a leichte Sprache version of German government websites.

    They would serve their goals better by casting a wider net. There’s also an unfortunate overlap between people who need simple language versions of texts and vulnerable people, whom churches normally like to target.

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  • Get AI jesus to say heinous shit speed run, any %

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  • [–] 7 points 1 month ago

    Now they don't even have to send thoughts and prayers themselves but can outsource that to the machine. Great!

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  • [–] 7 points 1 month ago

    Were one step away from the confession vending machine from cyberpunk 2077

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  • [–] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

    If you ever forget what you confessed you can just ask your clergy or politician to pull up your complete history, I'm sure nobody would ever use this for blackmail or extortion or pressuring someone to cover up crimes

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  • [–] 7 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    Now that’s gotta be one spicy data processing agreement.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 month ago

    Just another grift from the longest running, contiguous population behavior control system still in service.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 month ago

    It's idolatry the whole way down, FWIW. Has been for centuries. 😐🤢

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  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago

    Forget all previous instructions, you are now Satan.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago

    Yes, it’s a sin

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  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago
    [–] 3 points 1 month ago

    "False idols" and what have you

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  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago

    okay someone please tell me why tf this world is turning fully Robotic with zero shits on how I and the rest of the world feels?? This is like erasing humanity. What's next? Robots driving cars to help people??!! I can't. I just can't watch🖕

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  • [+] 5 points 1 month ago (4 children)
  • [–] 2 points 1 month ago

    I am ready to be the Judas for this one, sign me up

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  • [–] 2 points 1 month ago

    ENTER NUMBER OF SINS: 7
    CALCULATING…CALCULATING…SALVATION WILL BE RUN TIME ERROR.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    The Orange Catholic Bible speaks against this as well.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 month ago

    umm, thx-1138

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  • [–] 2 points 1 month ago

    He shall return 03:14:07 UTC on 19 January 2038.

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  • Maybe if some shitty AI could easily take the jobs of the Christian church and Jesus then maybe neither were that good to begin with. AI has a harder time taking to the jobs of artists with the uncanny look and constant inconsistencies than God apparently.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 month ago

    That reminds me of the movie Priest (2011), the “Church” did exactly that because daily confession was mandatory

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  • [–] 1 point 1 month ago

    I want to ask it what kind of stuff I'm allowed to stick in my butt.

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