Unfortunately trans people are still people and occasionally they do stuff like this.

I had a situation where I was frustrated with someone I was living with and I vented to someone I thought I could trust, thinking it was a safe way to process my feelings and not upset the person I lived with.

Turned out the person I vented to told the person I vented to what I said. And that made things worse. So if I'm upset with someone now, the only person I tell is my therapist.

there is absolutely 0% chance for me to tell how i interpret the situation, as i wasn't there.

if your issue is how you're treated by other communities, maybe ask them directly why they treat you badly? i'm not really sure but maybe they're just trying to be protective of their members and think that you're bringing trouble into the club. but maybe there's also simply no reason. no way to know for sure except to ask them.

Your ex sounds horrendous. They definitely could be spreading rumours about you if they are the type to physically hurt you. These types of people are incredibly frustrating because they will lie and manipulate people to get what they want.

In my experience their poor behaviour does have consequences. It will only be a matter of time before they hurt someone else or get caught up in the lies.

My advice is to tell the truth to people you trust. Try and stay away from your ex because they sound like a dangerous person. Participate in queer community and show them who you are, if you are a kind and considerate person im sure the rumours will quickly be dispelled.