
post
Speaking as a therapist, with a developed sense of empathy, and humor so dark the American police would shoot it, I think it's possible to sustain both through awareness and choice
I walk that line very well. Dark humor helps me cope, and when combined with self-awareness, at least in my experience, allows me to keep my empathy/sympathy muscles well maintained. That is to say, making the dark joke with the awareness of its darkness allows me to continue to feel empathy. I dunno if that makes sense, but that's how it works in my head and I continue to have an incredible sense of empathy, sometimes even to my detriment.
Well, any world where you have to resort to dark humor to stay sane, deserves only ridicule and lack of empathy.
What when dark humor is self-deprecating instead of deprecating others? For example, this drawing I made, in which there's humor from mixing esoterica/occult (alchemical transmutation/metamorphosis) with ornithological behaviors (owls eat rodents) being read by my self-avatar (i.e. a projection of my self) in self-loathe (imagining oneself as a rat/mouse to become dinner for owls). Perhaps one would call this "grim humor" because it's a subtle Memento Mori, but it seems more of a dark humor piece, a piece I had some legit laugh back when I made. Drawing pieces like this is my attempt to stay sane while trapped into an insane existence.!lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Hasn't happened yet. I still unfortunately feel empathy for even people I probably shouldn't.
All humor is dark humor. Name a joke that doesn’t revolve around someone’s pain?
We laugh and cry for the same reasons. To cope with pain.
There’s a reason the best comedians are depressed.
“My mother never breast fed me, she always said she considered more of a friend” the late great Rodney dangerfield. His jokes are funny because no one loves him and he’s left as a husk emotionally. We laugh at that. One of the best comedians of all time and he’s funny because his life sucks.
absurd humor maybe. sometimes puns and that kind of stuff.
How do we as a society react to a pun? With hatred and anger lol. There’s the pain. People who enjoy telling puns also enjoy that reaction to them.
The pain is how cringey the joke is.
Absurd humor is my favorite! But alas the joke is how shocked you feel by the absurdity. You were not expecting what was said.
I mean absurd kinda depends on the kind of joke ig. But there are people who like sharing puns or telling them to people who like puns too.
It all depends on the joke lol
That’s why I said “tell me a joke that doesn’t involve pain”
You are telling me TYPES of jokes so I’m telling you the Types of pain the might revolve around.
I can’t give you specifics about a vague concept.
Which joke would you like to talk about? Otherwise youre pretty much just saying “I’m sure there are jokes that aren’t like that”
Which it’s fine if you want to belive that but it’s not really disproving what I said.
For the record I like puns too I share them with people too. To which they always respond “ughhhhhhh” which is the normal response to a pun.
Knock knock jokes. Puns. Fart noises. Picture of a pee pee.
Knock knock jokes: the pain is you have been made to look foolish. You did not expect such an obvious trick. “Boo who” why are you crying it’s just a joke.
Puns: how do people react to puns? With anger. People tell puns to get that reaction from people. The pain is how cringy the joke is.
Fart noises and penises. Embarrassment at a social taboo. Something private is now public and shame is the pain of the joke. Or if some purposely the pain is the vulgarity of the joke teller and the feeling of disgust it causes .
Bro. Subverting expectations ≠ pain. No one's cried over a knock knock joke. Unless you have and in that case you're a big baby.
I think people react that way to puns literally because of current societal pressure. Puns have existed since time immemorial, and there hasn't been documentation for people reacting with the "ooo I hate you" response till modern times. Also those reactions are in jest almost the entire time.
The historical context also applies for farts and peens. There's been less puritanical societies that also felt those were funny.
Also, even if ask humor is derived from suffering of others, which it isn't, we've made a distinction between all types of humor and dark humor. Dark humor is jokes about morbid situations, and is not every type of joke ever.
Your argument holds no water and is a parroting of someone else's quote, Rowen Atkinson (and possibly others but I know he said this at one point), when he was complaining that people are too pc and/or too worried about offending people.
There are different levels of pain lol. Just because we determined snake bites hurt worse than a paper cut it doesn’t mean paper cuts aren’t a version of pain. Same thing actually with the word “dark” you think nighttime is dark? Have you ever even been in a cave? That’s dark!
I’ve said nothing about the ethics of jokes. If anything you can take what I said to mean all jokes are in poor taste. That wouldn’t fit your narrative of what you think I’m saying tho so you ignored that lol the truth is I said nothing about ethics or what is appropriate.
I’m not parroting anyone. If I were I would have quoted him. More than one person can have a thought lol
Less puritanical societies… that remain nameless. Are we in a Puritanical society right now? Unless you’re going back to caveman times we’ve always been naked in private. Before that being naked wouldn’t have been funny. No one is laughing at boobs in societies that are shirtless. Same with farting. It wasn’t a joke until it was taboo.
Have you ever seen anyone rolling on the floor laughing just at a pun? I mean you mentioned me crying at knock knock jokes. Have you ever audible laughed at the talent of a pun or do you laugh because it’s stupid? Do you have any evidence of that being recent or just someone didn’t specifically write down the puns were stupid? Where is you’re source? Because we typically don’t create historic records of things that are considered “obvious”
Have you ever audible laughed at the talent of a pun
...Yes.
I didn't say this in my other comment because I wasn't sure how to explain it, but you know that "bad puns" are just one particular genre of pun, right?
I mean, I think you're likely to describe them all as painful regardless. "It is painful that two definitions of a word are not easily reconciled," or something.
Can I ask you something? I mean sincerely, like I'm trying to understand you as a person. Why do you think this pain model of comedy is useful? You're describing pain that is so miniscule and modest, but pointing at it nevertheless, insisting that it is pain and thus justifies what you're saying—what is this revealing to you about the world?
I just think it’s interesting. I think jokes are interesting, I think the mind is interesting.
I like to understand things as well. I have really severe adhd and I like things to click and make sense. I also like patterns and I see a pattern here.
I’m also honestly always looking for things to change my world view. If I was set on “this is the only truth” I wouldn’t bring it up at all.
It’s not a greater commentary on the world, I’m just having a fun conversation. That’s it.
I haven’t even looked this up or researched it at all, just had casual conversations with people about it a few times. It came to me because I process a lot of my emotions thru humor. I don’t really tell a lot of “edgelord” jokes or racist jokes. Mostly my jokes are pretty soft hitting absurd quips.
But I watch a lot of comedy and I just noticed a pattern and chose to talk about it.
There’s no grand point or motive. Just talking.
Everything is greater commentary on the world. Every bit of knowledge you gain is a puzzle piece that fits into a broader picture.
I can understand your pain idea, but only if I stretch it out to mean a particular kind of expectation and subversion—which is how I actually understand comedy. That is, surprise is an important element of how jokes work. But I imagine that you're interpreting the unexpected to be some form of pain: that there is some connection between the expected and normalcy, and the unexpected and discomfort.
I don't find the unexpected to be discomforting, which I think may be the root as to why we disagree.
lol well I’m not a fan of surprises. From my view point it we all kind of are not fans of surprises. Our minds make predictions and when reality doesn’t pan out that way the brain is upset by that, causing a reaction.
Humor is a way to process emotions like crying is a way to process emotions.
I don’t think enjoying something necessarily means it isn’t a “pain” of sorts.
Like if I blow out a tire and say “thank god, I hated that tire” it’s just a way to process that.
I see a lot of processing of anxiety, pain, and sadness in comedy. Not all of it to the extreme but I do feel humor exsists exclusively for processing the unexpected, anxiety, and general pain of life.
To take something that feels unsafe and make it safe again. I don’t mean in just the joke I enjoy but in every joke I think I’ve ever even heard before.
That’s why I ask for one I can’t for nearly into that category of “brain does this to ease itself of discomfort”
I think expectations being wrong is a feeling of discomfort even if we push it thru the reward centers of the brain to process it.
It’s done my tire blew out because I never liked that tire anyway.
It’s processing emotion.
That’s why I ask for one I can’t for nearly into that category of “brain does this to ease itself of discomfort”
Right, but what I'm trying to say is that it's not possible to give you one. You have built for yourself a theory that is not falsifiable; every example you might be given will be reinterpreted through the lens of pain, and so it will reaffirm your ideas—because you have designed it to.
Imagine someone wearing purple-tinted glasses while asking people to show them something that wasn't purple-colored. It can't be done.
This is more or less why I was asking about what value this idea has for you, what it teaches you about the world. If this idea, that literally all comedy is about processing pain, means something, it leads to some conclusion, then it becomes falsifiable. Right now you're just offering it as a kind of truism.
We prove the existence of looking thru lenses all the time. We can prove color blindness, we measure prescriptions lenses.
You say I’m using a lense but the examples you are using is going threw a sun lense. I like spicy food, spicy food is hot. It doesn’t change that it’s pain. What I mean is you are also using the subjective lense of “some people enjoy it”.
I’m not reinterpreting surprise and shock, I’m stating the brain routes all that through the emotional and stressful areas of the brain then thru the reward center after.
That’s the lense being used.
“Oh I was surprised but it’s okay and safe so I fealrelief and happiness “
It doesn’t really prove anything beyond we have a varied way of processing pain and humor is designed for that purpose just like crying is.
Thats the lense as far as I’m concerned. You don’t have to feel that way but I still do even after what you’ve said.
Other than that I guess it helps to know this for the same reason it helps to know anything. So you can make predictions about life. Like the guy who’s always making edgy joke probably has a lot of pain they aren’t coping with well vs someone who tells a lot of jokes that aren’t distasteful might have a lot of pain but are handling better emotionally.
Bro see a baby laughing at peekaboo and goes "hmm yesss this is pain, what dark humor"
Dude that’s the easiest one lol. A baby has no object permanence. Thier parent just disappeared in front of their eyes! They might never come back! Oh wait there they are again, thank god.
Bro cries at knock knock jokes lol
Knock knock
Who's there
It’s me, obviously. Aeao. My name is on the comment bro! Of course it’s me. We’ve been talking for a while. You have the object permanence of a baby bro. Lol did you think it was going to be William shatner? No it’s me. Aeao. Obviously.
Ah yes, please come in. We have a lot to unpack here after our last session.
So, you think all jokes are somehow painful. So you think this is because you have a bad relationship with jokes? You're not funny, so you resent people who are? It goes so far that you resent jokes themselves?
How's your relationship with your mother?
Fine, but I have a better relationship with your mother.
So you clearly like to just pull information out of you’re own ass. Doesn’t that hurt your sphincter? Does it get sore?
What about your ankles? Do they hurt? Because you are always make these gigantic leaps lol
I see that you're getting upset.
You’re just annoyed that im not getting upset lol
What is there for me to be upset about?
I'm not really annoyed, honestly. I'm confused as to why you'd die on this hill, especially when you're pretty obviously wrong. You clearly heard once that ask humor is derived from pain and somehow thought it was gospel, even though it is clearly not true. You're doing all these mental gymnastics and excuses just to hold onto an idea you didn't even come up with.
You used pickaboo as an example ofo me being wrong lol
“You clearly”
“Obviously”
“Clearly “
You seem to hold you’re own opinion too highly. Even though early today your were POSTIVE I had this view because I resented comedy because I wasn’t funny. You were sure of that. Now you’re SURE that I misread an article somewhere. Which is it? Was it my troubled past? My poor comedy? Or did I steal the idea? Or was it my mother? Am I a weak cry baby or am I an argumentative stubborn person? Lol You aren’t trying to understand anything I’ve said you are fishing for something to touch a nerve and failing miserably. You are all over the place lol
As for dying on a hill, I was never the in an argument. Talking isn’t dieing on a hill. Besides I’ve moved on to other things, you are going around attempting to be insulting still lol I have no interest in discussing anything with you anymore because you are acting in bad faith and your conversation just isn’t interesting enough for me to care. I’m sorry, if you’re going to be a douche at least be entertaining. I can’t suffer a bore.
You are the one who seems upset to me. I don’t need you to agree with me but you are very upset I’m not bowing to you lol. You’ll live.
pain is the vulgarity of the joke teller and the feeling of disgust it causes.
I feel like you're really fitting this horse to a suit you've made.
Being disgusted is a feeling you enjoy?
I don't like "bad puns" at all because I think they're lazy.
I've heard good ones, though. Clever ones.
Also, tangentially and as an art appreciator, the feeling of disgust is plenty enjoyable in the same way that horror is. By feeling something, and then looking inward to understand those feelings, you learn something about yourself and about the world. I pulled myself out of transphobia—the "but could I date one, though" kind—by trying really hard to understand where that disgust was coming from. Turns out I didn't need it. :p
I like art. I get what your saying. I like roller coasters, hp lovecraft. Love the game subnautica because the open ocean is spooky.
But the pain is what you’re enjoying and that’s fine. It doesn’t make it not disgusting, or scary, or painful.
That actually loops back to my comment. Those things are enjoying a discomfort in a safe way. Like humor. It’s like a practice or immunization. in my opinion, im not an expert just a guy who has time to talk)
To be clear im not saying “all jokes therefore are fine and people need to be less sensitive “ just like im not saying “all jokes are inherently bad”.
This is a shitposting community. I’m was bored and just talking about a thought.
Yeah, but... I wouldn't describe a roller coaster as "painful."
Like, I understand the connection you're making, but I really have to stretch my words to get there.
I just, I think you've found a frame to better understand the world through, and you're applying it to everything, even when it might not really make sense to. You're using the concept of "pain" as if it were a fundamental atom of the universe.
It would sort of be like describing an orange as "painful" because the flavor of an orange includes acids.
To be clear im not saying “all jokes therefore are fine [...]
I'm not accusing you of anything, don't worry.
The majority of jokes aren't around pain. Don't conflict your own limited humor with everyones.
Here is one:
There are 2 pizzas in the oven.
Says one of the pizzas: "It is getting warm, isn't it?"
Says the other pizza: "EWW, a talking pizza!"
You added the word eww for no reason then? A pizza in an oven having sentience…
Those two things make the joke funnier, why is it funnier that they are in an oven, why is it funnier that one pizza is disgusted with the other pizza? Why is the second pizza in this oven such a hypocrite
Or just the classic “oh you shocked me”
Bit I feel the pain on those jokes is again “oh I feel foolish for not expecting that”
This troll mfer got the whole thread feeding him!
all 57 comments