Playing devil's advocate here, but many parts of Texas are purple or even blue; it's just gerrymandered to hell. Texas contains a lot more than just staunch MAGAs, so even if they weren't desperate (which they are to be clear) they'd want to take dumb shots at Democrats.

Every once in a while I'll catch a local political ad and they are always going after Dems for letting this criminal or that off the hook. Literally the best they can do is fear-mongering. No more "We can keep money in your pocket!" or "Small government is best!". It's all culture war nonsense.

They thought Biden was a communist so why would you try to reason with them?

One of the political ads in ohio say "now that dangerous radicals" blah blah with a pic of AOC, Bernie and I think either Mamdani or Al-Sayed...and behind them is a protest with the only real legible sign says "Medicare for all".

Easy access to healthcare is a "dangerous radical* idea according to them

while at the same time republicans are the biggest recipiant of welfare from the state, farm subisidies, oil subsidies,,,etc, plus medi-caid and ACA related insurance.

He has a “stop government handouts” sticker so he should be fine with that, right?

...nor balances

Hands still too big

Except for the red hat and the ugly orange mug, it's every GOP election ever. When have they ever filled a promise to the masses?

You gotta wait until the next pandemic which should be any day now...

The premise of "Gay for Pay" is that an otherwise heterosexual person is willing to perform sexual acts for money with people of the same sex. It's a common fantasy/kink/trope for porn, strippers, sex workers, and so on. The embodiment of gay for pay is the joke "I'm not gay, but $20 is $20."

Many gay for pay professionals actually are gay (or more generally LGBT+), though. Certainly not all, but many. It's just a part they play because it makes them more money.

No doubt in my mind, most Americans who would vote MAGA GOP allegedly for the 5K are like that later group. They were going to vote GOP anyway, they are themselves MAGA through and through.

Now they can be performative and say things like "I'm not MAGA, but 5K is 5K" without ever having to publicly address the real reasons they vote the way they do. In fact, they can abandon all rational discussion of any other issues this way. "I don't like ICE, but 5k is 5K".

The bribe is a classic example of convenient cover.

Of course, the promise of 5K actually is the main/only reason some people might vote at all, let alone for MAGA candidates. They mostly aren't politically informed and savvy. They probably don't keep up with the news or if they do it's only from the most biased and dishonest sources. They do not realize the 5K checks won't happen as stated regardless of who wins.

Realistic worry. We're a country full of fucking suckers.

Is this a real line I can't remember

With substantially less cum.

The sleeve verbiage is a nice touch.

I only slightly regret making this