If you’re younger, I find worrying about the climate is a good entry into the hobby. It’s a looming threat that affects everyone, definitely a Big Deal, yet it’s a slow burn. Super accessible for novices and experts alike.

"What if I run out of money and have some kind of emergency?" is a pretty common one

Did you lock the door?

But did you tho?

Do you think you are good enough to be anxious?

You can start with climate change and work your way to all the other shit stemming from it

Beginner worries aren't necessarily what's most common but maybe more what's lightest. Did I remember to turn off the light before leaving the room? Did I just say "Love you" to my coworker? Does my phone have enough charge for the rest of the day? Inconsequential things.

When you think those enough and can't even handle them, it's then that you can graduate to more difficult anxieties like "Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life?" or "Will anyone even notice if I'm gone?"

I remember as a child, I just started wondering what is stopping knives from floating up and shanking me.

From the US? The Yellowstone super caldera is over due for a massive eruption. From the west coast? "The big one" is also well over due. Enjoy.

Sleep apnea is a good starter. The idea is to look it up when you wake in the night and obsess over the idea that something may be wrong with you.

My body feels fractionally different, am I dying?

Some skills require long term practice. ASAP start to develop deep doubts about your adequation to your work. Are you not an absolute impostor? And if so, when and how will the grand revelation of your ineptitude happen?

• Do your friends really like you, or are they just being nice out of pity?

• Did you leave the stove on?

• Really, did you leave it on?

• Hey, so this climate change thing looks pretty scary, huh? Probably not a good thing to leave your progeny to suffer through.

• On an unrelated note, when was your last period again?

• Fuck, now you’re gonna have to go to the drug store, pick up some tests and holy shit what are the abortion cutoffs in your state, again?

• What if you have to find an in-network provider for an appointment, call them, and face the possibility that they’re not taking new patients?

• Oh, that’s an itchy scalp, isn’t it? Better spend the next 30 minutes recording a zoomed in video as you look through each hair section and check for lice.

• Can humans get fleas?

• What if you have to fumigate? You can’t afford that.

• Your car’s sounding weird, don’t you think? What if it just had a catastrophic malfunction on the highway and you die in a horrific crash?

• I mean, at least then you won’t have to worry about the appointments, might be a relief.

Is the oven on? Go check

Will ppl like my posts?

Replay cringe conversations and social blunders in your head from years ago.

Constantly wonder if you put your underwear on backwards this morning.

Question whether you are having a heart attack, or cancer, or serious organ failure, or parkinsons, or MS, or a fatal case of covid, or ebola, or a stroke, or going blind ... all the time.

Know that AI will replace you sometime this year and you are too old to get another job of any sort.

That aircraft you hear overhead is not some passenger jet, but bombers about to try shock and awe.

That rumbling isn't a truck driving by, but a hidden fault line about to unleash the mother of all earthquakes.

Ghosts are real.

My personal mixture when snoozing in the wee hours, dancing deftly between imagination and dreams:

"OH SHIT OH FUCK DID I MISS MY ALARM???'

A classic is to wait at the supermarket check out for another person to get back while you hold up the entire line.

The unstoppable passing of time

"Is that a fart, or a shart?"

If you aren't stressed, then you're forgetting something important and only falling behind. Better drink some coffee, smoke a cigarette and pace around until you realize what you should be stressing over

Instead of specific worries, try focusing only on your negative experiences and memories. Then, you will worry naturally as you go about daily life being constantly tortured by the intrusive thoughts of all those emotionally painful moments and awkward mistakes.

If you stop worrying you might accidentally fart in a meeting at work again! Who needs to pay attention to the road when you could be ruminating on just how much you overshared with that new group of friends you like so much? Sure they were all gracious and supportive, but that one glance from that one guy who probably doesn’t like you probably means you blew it. Did you? Who knows! Better think about some more.

Let the philosophy of anxiety inhabit your soul, and pretty soon you won’t be able to stop it even when you want to! And just remember, that you’re probably tolerated at best, so you deserve this! Best of luck with your new anxious life, and keep those shoulders tight.

You can go for the classic: What if you are forgetting to do something important?

Don’t bother. You haven’t got what it takes.

A good starter worry is that you left the stove on.

It's been a while since you mowed the lawn, but it rained recently so you're not sure if the grass too wet to mow again.

Do they like me?

If you're new to the world of anxiety, start small:

Lower the expectations from others & yourself when in public (this includes the Internet)

Lower your reliance for & of the support of others

Pick a favorite thing and spend a bunch of time fixating on how it might help

Finally (and this is most important), explore various types of cheese, regardless of tolerance to lactose.

When I collapse and unable to move, how long will it take before my cat begins to eat my body?

Someone is watching you.

worrying whether I subconsciously worry too much or am stressed too much, because I'm bad at inspecting my emotions and my subconscious weirds me out

I'll go out on a limb with this one. I really think that anxiety is related to anger. There's anger from sadness and there's anger from feeling powerless. Feeling powerless doesn't necessarily stem from physical aspects; it can be from self restraint and compliance.