Exactly what I came here to say.

Maybe OOP just has some romantic notion of doing everything together in exact equal measures.

I'm totally fine with chopping ingredients and staying away from the stove - or the other way round.

It's nice.

Exactly, there is only one person in control and the helper works under instruction.

My wife and I have very different cooking styles. I like my kitchen to be clean with dirty things either washed up or waiting by the sink. My wife is more of the style that the kitchen tells the story of the meal preparation and how all the workspace was used.

Cooking together is for dom/sub pairs.

That's what I do. While I like baking, when we cook together I prep and clean while he cooks. I do the same when my sister cooks as well.

knife fight it is

This only works if the food girl doesn't fell liberated from the need to be economical with dishes! It's safer to make the cook do the dishes... but it can work the other way.

A splash of cayenne for later!

We rarely cook together, but when we do, one person does prep and the other cooks, like in a professional kitchen. Eliminates a lot of tension.

There just usually isn't enough time to give my wife instructions and explain why it needs to be done that way.

Cooking is like a choreographed dance. If you've learned out a solo routine, it's hard to add another person.

It doesn't help that her mother never taught her how to cook.