Full utilitarianism. Pacific Ocean is now "Ocean 1". Atlantic is "Ocean 2". So on, and so forth.

And we're serializing the countries while we're at it (random number assignment, no major economy gets to have #1 for ego reasons). I can already see the signs: "Country 4 is #1!".

Every flag is a solid pantone color. Every anthem is a localization of Riding Nerdy by Weird Al.

All the continents should be renamed, "Landia" and the oceans should just be rolled into, "Oceania".

Why makes things complicated?

But it's not a sea, it's an ocean. There is a difference!

The rest of the world should just rename America, itself.

I would rename the dead sea to death sea and the red sea to blood sea. The mediterranian sea shall be named realm of souls.

It touches the US so you call it American sea. This follows the same rule as bacterial contamination.

Fuck it, no more names. We just call it "The Ocean".

It's clearly the donnyjeffy ocean.

But like... do You know origin of current name?

I've been saying that Canada should rename Lake Michigan to Lake Canada.

I propose naming USA "Shitholeistan". Since Trump is so fond of shithole countries.

He would stroke out, and we'd be reading the Big Beautiful Obituary by the end of the day.

If you want to make Trump apocalyptically angry, start naming stuff after Obama. I truly believe if California renamed itself Obamafornia he would declare all-out war against them.

water

more water

water 2.0

I can't believe it's water (alt: I can't believe it's not land)

Ok, so soon, when the president declares to own the straits of hormuz, we rename it the Epstein Honeypots Strait, or something. Still workshopping the name.

no YOU'RE a frickin' C

Straight of Hormuz -> Epstein-Trump Straight

Epstein Ocean

You aren’t supposed to end sentences on a proposition…

Change Lake Erie to Moist Ohio

Terran planet earth.

Strongly Worded Ocean

Unelectable Sea

Bring Back Better Lake