Plot armour is impenetrable.

The phaser beam would hit enemy cover and background props in dramatic showers of sparks, of course.

You know how it is. Storm Troopers always forget to switch the dial.

It depends on who they're shooting at.

In the first movie, they were extremely accurate except when shooting at Han, Luke and Laia.

Those three escaped the Death Star, and the tacker on the Millennium Falcon led the Empire directly to Yarvin 4.

The next appearance of the Stormtroopers had them be Flanderized to the point where literal rocks were their Achilles heel.

Why is it called a lightsaber then?

Anakin Skywalker: You're a Jedi Knight, aren't you?
Qui-Gon Jinn: What makes you think that?
Anakin Skywalker: I saw your laser sword. Only Jedi carry that kind of weapon.

Is Anakin--the very Space Jesus himself--an idiot, then?

Uh... don't answer that.

Um ackshully it depends on the crystal and power source, Mace Windu’s purple lightsaber is explained as being an electric arc IIRC. (IRL Samuel L Jackson just wanted to be able to see himself in the wide shots apparently.)

Video games aren't true to lore, as you need video game mechanics that won't work in-lore. S

In said games, you also can slash droids many times and they won't slice in half. You can slash the viewport looking out into space and not have to worry about decompression.

And besides, none of that matters since as the crewman stated, "I vaporized with my phaser" which is not something that would "split" and still hit whoever is holding the saber.

And if you threw a rock, the jedi would use force abilities, not his lightsaber.

And trying to argue one group's weapons are nonsensical when the other group literally invented the term "treknobabble" to justify anything with complex sounding words is hilarious.

To be clear: I am not in any way upset about the meme, it's funny, and I like franchise vs franchise stuff. Warhammer vs star trek would be awesome. Golden age of humanity might be able to stand against starfleet, but certainly not the Imperium as it is in M41.

Phasers work in whichever way the plot demands. Of course the same goes for anything in star wars, sometimes even in the same movie trilogy being different.

Romukan plasma weapons would be terrifying, I'm imagining a plasma bolt just splashing around the light saber and covering the jedi with plasma. Basically the same as a flamethrower in star wars lore.

Ewoks are eldritch horrors that don't even need to dodge or limbo. For every one that gets struck down, 100 more are scrambling over every surface, swinging on every vine, and hang-gliding in to club everything to death.