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[–] 5 points 2 months ago (1 child)

I am sure USA's gloriousness worth such a small inconvenience. Who needs toilet paper when you can make your country great again? Can you even be great while having toilet paper? Only sissy-snotty-nongreat-pussies need toilet paper!

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    Bum gun FTW

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    Shitting your pants is all the rage right now in Trumpistan, I hear.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    I’m imagining a sea of angry red-hatted morons shaking their tiny, shit-smeared fists in anger. Get your house in order and you can have nice things again. Might be time to put down the Big Gulp and take some kind of action? … Naw.

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  • 14 comments in c/hackernews@lemmy.bestiver.se view that post
    [–] 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    I note a trend here, every time Donnie gets into office we have a shortage of ass wipe...

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  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago

    Ah shit, here we go again.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago (7 children)

    Bidet and a bunch of drying rags, problem solved.

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  • [–] 0 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (6 children)

    Drying rags

    "Gags*

    It takes me, and my wife, 2 weeks to go through a roll after owning a bidet. Is it really worth it?

    Who wants to clean human shit off a rag?

    Why?

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    Yeah, if you've got shit on the cloth after bidet use, you've either got something odd going on with your bowels, or you didn't do a good job.

    Now, that first one is entirely possible! There's a shit ton of things that can make feces very difficult to clean off with just water. No joke, no snark, it can be a sign of an underlying health issue. Steatorrhea in specific can make a bidet next to useless by itself, and can be caused by something like five or six things other than diet that I can think of off the top of my head.

    There's also the possibility that it's a physical thing, like hemorrhoids, or just an unusually crinkly anus.

    With that being said, even in those cases, is it better to use a rag you can then wash in hot water and be done with, or have toilet paper that's now wet and easy to tear while you're digging those fingers in and smearing the poo around?

    It's just poo. It washes off either way. You still have to wash your hands when you're done. You do wash your hands after, right?

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago

    Time to hit Costco.

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  • 5 comments in c/usa@lemmy.ml view that post
    [–] 19 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    The dumbest people got organized and did this to America.

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  • [–] 12 points 2 months ago

    Prices are surging because people are buying a lot of tp because they are shitting their guts out.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    Seems like everyone needs to make long term plans on how to clean themselves without TP or water.

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