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[–] 107 points 2 months ago (4 children)

>be me
>be not gay
>having sex with my loving husband of 15 years
>I identify as a cis male
>our penises touch when I slip out of his asshole on a slow thrust
>we lock eyes
>I say no homo
>he doesn’t reciprocate
>ejaculates as he continues silently staring into my eyes
>I pull out and exhaustedly crawl to the bathroom to think things through and remove a meter of silicon
>can feel his eyes scanning me without even turning around

Bros, I don’t know what to do. Should I tell our kids?

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  • [–] 28 points 2 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 88 points 2 months ago (12 children)

    Or, hear me out, sometimes dudes are bi.

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  • [–] 12 points 2 months ago (11 children)

    What are people's opinion on the downlow thing, otherwise straight men that just have furtive sex with other men, but never a relationship? Denial? Indiscriminate horniness?

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  • [–] 33 points 2 months ago (7 children)
  • [–] 14 points 2 months ago* (6 children)
  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago (5 children)

    “heteroromantic bisexual” can also refer to someone who is sexually attracted to any gender (male, female, non-binary, agender, genderqueer)

    Wouldn't that be "heteroromantic pansexual" then?

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  • [–] 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    depends on whether you're using the MOGAI definition of bisexual as "attracted to exactly two genders" or the LGBT definition as "attracted to more than one gender"

    in practice there really isn't much distinction, i don't know a single person who identifies as bisexual and wouldn't consider fucking a non-binary person, and the main distinguishing factor between people who label themselves bisexual and those that label themselves pansexual seems to be "was this person active on tumblr or other online communities with a similar vibe at any point between 2014-ish and now".

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  • [–] 79 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 child)
  • [–] 77 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    fake: anon has a wholesome friendship
    gay: ... I'm not too sure actually, I'll need some help on this one

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  • [–] 38 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    I think it's the bit where they ordered a pizza

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  • [–] 53 points 2 months ago
    [–] 42 points 2 months ago

    Guy is Homiesexual

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  • [–] 33 points 2 months ago

    Fake: Didn't say "no homo".

    Gay: Didn't say "no homo".

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  • [–] 27 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    maybe Anon is just starving for any non-animal sexual relationship

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  • [–] 61 points 2 months ago (6 children)

    Here's my biggest pet peeve (relevant to the scenario): the cancelling of bi-folk. There is a forced dichotomy of men being either hetero- or homosexual, with homoerotic choices somehow automatically negating all heteroerotic choices by framing them as perfidy (i.e. pretending to be heterosexual to pass in society).

    Freddie Mercury was bi. NOT GAY. Bi. I have no issue with gays revering him. I do have issues with gays trying to deny his heteroromantic side (see Mary Austin).

    Rant over.

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  • [–] 10 points 2 months ago

    I always felt that it's just homophobia. The heteroerotic choices of bisexuals are disregarded because of the lost purity of being considered 'straight'. You can have heterosexual preferences but according to heteronormative society you fit outside this group. It will take time for Bisexuality to be better understood by society and for bisexuals to fully be seen as a distinct group

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  • [–] 7 points 2 months ago

    My nonexpert understanding is, few people are 100% straight or 100% gay. And it can shift over time, too.

    There's so much defensive BS around what people are into / aroused by. I'm not saying everyone should share everything to everyone all the time. But I really wish folks would be less fearful about what they like.

    As long as you aren't attracted to kids, corpses, or animals, I think everything else is probably OK. Even couches, if that's your thing.

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  • [–] 37 points 2 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 23 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    I already know how sunsets look, yet I can look and marvel at them on every evening.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

    Yeah, absolutely. I usually get to see them once a week or rarer, so beautiful sometimes. Sadly phone camera does not capture them well enough. Still, seen them!

    I've just seen same joke in the past and liked it, decided to do it here. Though I see more generalized versions of the same in the comments too. Efficiency.

    Seen replies about bi-erasure and homophobia... Yeah... Not that funny now.

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  • [–] 18 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    What kind of pizza was it?

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  • [–] 14 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    It's really challenging when the post starts out with a declaration of not being gay, proceeds to describe activities which might potentially be gay, and then ends with a redeclaration of anon being not gay.

    maybe it is fake, but is anon gay or no???

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  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Might be potentially gay?! Idk, a man having romantic sex with another man is pretty much the definition of gay, if you ask me. Doesn't get much gayer.

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  • [–] 26 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    Now I want pizza and yuri :3

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  • [–] 13 points 2 months ago
    [–] 5 points 2 months ago

    Refused to believe that even green texters are that unaware. If it were just writing about the realisation about their sexuality whatever, but to end it with "I'm not homosexual" is just unrealistic.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago
    [–] 3 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    A paradox!

    This is either fake or gay, but it can not be both even though it is a green text.

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