The 2 often feed off each other too. E.g. men are slightly stronger than women, on average. Men are then expected to take on the strong protector role, while women are expected to act weak and subservient. This amplifies the original slight difference massively, reinforcing the social stereotype.

Women seem to have a preference for cooperation, with their ranking within the group mattering most. Men seem to err towards intergroup competition, where your teams ranking matters most. These necessitate different types of social skills, which feeds the stereotype, which feeds the original difference.

yeah i have no idea what they are saying. my nephews are all plenty mature for their age. it could be that the parents of those kids just suck.

and not all of their friends, male, or female, are on the same level. mostly as a product of how overbearing/controlling their parents were.

Not mine. I was his first case with this.

That's not how I teach therapists to work.

We don't use leading questions, we do really and genuinely want to understand and I've never worked with someone who wasn't totally unique even if their story was superficially similar to another

Oh, she did. As do I. But she refused any and all suggestions or offers of help, and simply chose to make it my responsibility for her. Needless to say, the relationship couldn't go on like that.

But I did. If I have clearly explained "this is your action. this is the consequence of that action," and they have acknowledged that, then there shouldn't be a need to go on at length. I communicated exactly what the issue was and how it affects me. She acknowledged that. Behavior didn't change. Why should I need to do all the work for them? She is an adult. She does not need me to be her mom. She shouldn't need me to treat her like a child, and should be able to pick up after herself, especially when she's acknowledged the consequences of not doing so.

I did say what I mean. I'm not her mother. I don't know why you're jumping in to defend someone who is incapable of basic housekeeping unless specifically instructed each time. That is an unreasonable expectation to have. No one should need to be given instruction to take care of a shared space, especially when the consequences of not doing so aren't just expressed by the other party, but acknowledged.

"Say what you mean" is so insulting, when there is no clearer boundary than "x behavior hurts me." No other partner I have had has needed me to tell them to do the dishes or pick up after themselves after I've made it clear how it makes me feel.

Again, I shouldn't need to mother my partner. They're an adult. Expecting me to clearly tell them to do every basic chore is insulting. You're pushing the entire mental load onto me, which is both unfair and immature. Additionally, both people in this situation were women.

edit: The implications that I'm incapable of communicating when I've given every indication of communicating with clear "when x, I feel y" statements, the gold standard of communication, are insulting. I have had absolutely no issues communicating with my partners before or since. The issue wasn't a lack of communication, it was my partner's choice to weaponize her incompetence. She never "forgot" when it affected her, only when it affected me. She knew, very clearly, that she was hurting me. If I said "it hurts when you slap me. When you slap me, it makes me sad," and you slapped me right afterwards, "well you didn't tell me to stop" wouldn't fly as an excuse. I set a boundary. She crossed it. Repeatedly.

She never forgot when it was something for her own convenience. It was pure selfishness. If I asked her to not eat a dessert, as it was a birthday gift from my mom, sealed it in a tied bag, and wrote on it "for Erin," and verbally confirmed with her that it was mine and I did not want her to eat it, she would then decide later that day while I was at work that she was hungry and eat it anyways. "I'm sorry, I forgot, and I was so hungry." It was sealed and tied in a bag with my name on it. You told me that you wouldn't eat it, and that it was a birthday gift for me. She was like this for every aspect of our relationship. If it affects me, conveniently forget. If it is for her, perfect memory.

That comment clearly says it’s worth it to make your partner comfortable in a relationship, not assigning blame.