148
Pov It's 2035 (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 months ago by to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
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[–] 131 points 3 months ago (7 children)

Privatized social security?

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  • [–] 37 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    You rent each number on your ssn individually, if you miss a payment then you lose a random number. When you only have 1 number left you get sent to an island where you have to kill 8 people. For every person killed you get their respective number, if you manage to kill 8 then your new ssn is composed out of their numbers.

    If your new ssn is a duplicate of an existing number then a duel is arranged between you and the existing holder of said number unless either party pays the ssn company 9 million dollars for a new number.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago

    Yes, and everyone can look up used and empty SSN, so you know what numbers other random island people could be looking for.

    The bad guy isn't the government though, it's some random guy that keeps abducting other people instead of killing them, and lets other people get the kill to avoid the 9 mill/duel scenario

    The main character is super fine with all of this for some reason, and ends up killing the number cuck, but that's the main characters last number. Main character ends up with the same number as the president of the United States, who for some reason doesn't use the buyout option, probably because he's an asshole.

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    • [–] 70 points 3 months ago (9 children)

    Donald Trump is not living until 2035 under any circumstance, unless we symbolically hold his bloated corpse in a supermax.

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  • [–] 13 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    In 2030 his consciousness is extracted and preserved as a neural network by Peter Thiel in a desperate attempt to control the maga movement. In 2033 it is seized by the FBI, uploaded into a SpaceX orbital data center and locked in geostationary orbit, guaranteeing operation for the next 10,000 years.

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  • [–] 1 point 3 months ago (3 children)

    I started asking this a few years ago to people as kind of a joke, but it's less of a joke now:

    At what age of Trump still being alive will you go "wait a second..." and start to suspect there is a drug or treatment that the elite have access to that extends their life that they aren't telling the public about?

    I don't mean better access to higher quality medical care. I don't mean a personal team of doctors. I mean a drug or treatment that can extend lifespans by decades, even for those who live unhealthy lifestyles.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    See, here's the thing, we would've heard about it. Trump and all his ilk can't keep their fucking mouths shut and would've been lording this shit over us. Someone would've said SOMETHING, because none of these people can keep a secret.

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    • [–] 40 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    So many people seem to have missed that this is the shitpost magazine.

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    • [–] 22 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    Nice b8 m8

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    • [–] 14 points 3 months ago

    “And this photo was taken at the south pole visiting center”

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    [–] 10 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    Just kill me. I'm tired.

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    • [–] 25 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    If Liz Cheney, daughter of shotgun Dicky, is president the US is well and truly fuckin' cooked.

    The Overton needs a fucking reset or something. tf is this?

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    • [–] 8 points 3 months ago

    Liz Cheney being president is not a positive. Non-whites and LGBT+ folk are still fighting for their rights and to get representation. No-bid government contracts are going to big construction and big military instead of big tech. Social programs are still gutted and dying or dead. Big religion dominates education. We're still locked in a war in the Middle East or Asia. The world is still burning while the federal government still refuses to regulate big polluters.

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    [–] 8 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    I like those style of lights. If I ever find some cheap enough, I'm going to string them up in my living room and have a picnic.

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    • [–] 6 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    If he lives another nine years I’ll eat my hat.

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    • [–] 6 points 3 months ago

    You wish, look Donald Trump winning the next rigged election and the USA citizens posting more slop politics.

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    [–] 18 points 3 months ago

    WTF? Stupid fucking neoliberals.

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    [–] 5 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    Donald trump isn't making it to 95

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    • [–] 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

    The liberal dream. (I use liberal in the classical sense. Here in the US - where people don't know what words mean - instead of "liberal" folks here might refer to them as "centrists," "moderates" or "neoliberals." Interesting that neoliberals are somehow not liberals here in the US, even though "liberal" is IN THE DAMN NAME!)

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  • [–] 24 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    Why don't we just call a politician by how they act and not by what ideology they pretend to have?

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  • [–] 23 points 3 months ago

    This.

    There are billionaires in the Chinese Communist Party. North Korea calls itself a 'democratic republic.' The Reddest US states are also the ones taking the most money from the Federal government.

    Any discussion of political labels outside a classroom is folly.

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  • [–] -1 points 3 months ago

    What makes you think they're pretending? Do you think all politicians are ideological nhilisists? That no politician, ever, anywhere, actually adheres to an ideology? Because I'm pretty certain that most do. And I think it matters what ideology guides a politician. I mean, I want to know that before I decide to vote for someone. I want to know what their guiding philosophy is. I think that's important information.

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    • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    n then we lwk get cooked by climate change

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    • [–] 2 points 3 months ago* (1 child)

    My problem with this future is that it doesn't look like people use proper punctuation and stroked lettering to make it easier to read text plastered across a busy background.

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    • [–] 2 points 3 months ago

    That was a nice warm feeling for a minute, thanks for that. Ope, gotta get back to my hellscape of a life again thanks for that byyyyeee

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