Deut. 25:11 When two men are fighting and the wife of one of them intervenes to drag her husband clear of his opponent, if she puts out her hand and catches hold of the man by his privates, you must cut off her hand and show her no mercy.

2Then the Lord spoke his word to Elijah: 3“Leave here, turn east, and hide beside the Cherith River, which is east of the Jordan River. 4You can drink from the stream, and I’ve commanded ravens to feed you there.”

https://randombibleizer.spiffy.tech/

I'm either getting arrested for entering Israel, or dying of dysentery from drinking this dirty ass water.

"When this was over, all the Israelites who were there went to the cities in Judah. They crushed the sacred stones, cut down the poles dedicated to the goddess Asherah, and tore down the illegal places of worship and the altars throughout Judah, Benjamin, Ephraim, and Manasseh. The Israelites destroyed all of these things. Then all the Israelites returned to their own cities. Each person went to his own property."

I guess I have to destroy religion? Or just temples and churches? Better do it all to be sure

I randomly opened it to the first page, and now I've created my own universe.

What am I supposed to do with this? It seems like a lot of trouble. I'm thinking that if I just ignore it, maybe it will go away.

"Jackass, who was the son of Some Jackass, who was the son of Another Jackass, who was the son of...."

wth am I supposed to do with that?

"Salt is good" the fuck am I supposed to do with that

Hmm ... I got a page in Genesis. I need to start an argument with someone about the biblical fact that bats are birds.

what is begatting ? do i begat or i am begatted ? or is it like a type of bread or something ?

23:1 The burden of Tyre. Howl, ye ships of Tarshish; for it is laid waste, so that there is no house, no entering in: from the land of Chittim it is revealed to them.

My daughters just brought me a shot and a beer...

What fool would trust a secondhand model so implicitly? A serious man would see for himself.