The knowledge is forbidden, for if crabs were to learn to read, they would verily rise up and overcome us all with their supreme carcinised forms.

If you teach a crab to read, it will want books

Just remind them that it's natural to be curious about crab literacy, but they need to find a more healthy outlet for these feelings.

Surveillance on kids creeps me out even if it's a parental control. Most of us grew up with tech illiterate parents and it let us grow by asking things we were too embarrassed to ask anyone we know.

The Netherwatcher watches nether regions for crabs, then?

"Made my laugh as hard as this" makes me wonder how their laugh gets a boner 😅

Kapersky

I can see the reasoning. It's a common technique among teenagers to bypass restrictions, similar to paying an alcoholic to buy alcohol for oneself.

Step 1. Teach crab how to read

Step 2. Command crab to research forbidden topics on your behalf

If you ever paid attention to how commonly crabs roam any libraries, you might notice it.

Look, the last thing we need is carcinization of knowledge

I’m remembering the time I got one of these because my daughter searched for “bush” as in George W. but only wrote his last name

See we don't need the Age Verification laws, we just need Kaspersky.

/s

About Kaspersky. Not about the age verification laws, those are dumb and poorly designed.

Assuming it's not fake, I honestly wonder what could've happened, what rule got triggered, that this was flagged.