Yeah I get the fear of T levels. I really, truly get it. I've been on HRT since 2011, post-SRS since 2013. And on just E, my T levels are below the cis female levels. But if I want to supplement that T, I have to be very very careful, as since I'm post-op I'm obviously not taking any T blockers. Still, I decided to try it.

For the better part of a year last year into this one, I decided to take some supplemental low-dose testosterone. I tried to give myself a very low dose, even using a custom-compounded low-concentration T vial to allow this. I had hoped to just raise my T levels back up into the cis female range, hopefully to improve energy, focus, etc. IIRC I was taking 0.25 mL of 50 mg/mL testosterone enanthate weekly, or about 12.5 mg/week. Typical trans guy dose is more like 50-200 mg/week. I thought I was being careful. I actually went to the trouble of getting a custom homebrew T vial made, just to make micro-dosing easier. Typical commercial vials are more like 200 mg/mL. These were compounded at a quarter of the normal concentration.

But even on this low dose, when I tested my results, my T level was way too high. I did tests both at trough and the day after my shots, and I was at 322 ng/dL at peak, 75 ng/dL at trough. Still well below normal cis male T ranges, and at the same time I've had E levels that are above the typical cis female range. But I still had T levels well above the cis female range. I probably could have just kept fiddling with it until I found an acceptably tiny level of T to take, but I just gave up on it.

Why? Because honestly, T just scares the shit out of me. I stopped taking it and haven't gone back. T may have given me a bit more energy and focus and made working out a bit easier, but it's just not worth the psychological trauma for me. Even if I can get some custom formulations that are lower concentration than the stuff trans guys use. Even if I can just lower my dose down to the point where bloodwork shows it's not a problem...this just isn't a fire I want to play with anymore. The prospect of remasculinizing is just such deep, fundamental, existential fear of mine, that I'm just done messing with it. I'll stick with my "below cis female" T levels at this point. I would rather be a little more tired than risk remasculinizing. And I wouldn't have any immediately visible signs of a problem like the return of erections, as I solved that particular problem permanently. 😂 So if those high T levels are causing a problem, I won't realize it until I'm actually experiencing real significant remasculinization. I'm just done fucking around with this fire. It's just too dangerous.