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[–] 46 points 1 week ago (14 children)

I dislike anyone implying they know what is best for me on any topic if they are not a professional, having children often makes people they are an expert for some reason

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  • [–] 11 points 1 week ago (12 children)

    Well they are usually more of an expert on kids than people who don't have kids. But if you don't really want to have kids you definitely should not.

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  • [–] 9 points 1 week ago (1 child)

    Yeah, but they bust out their kids for totally irrelevant stuff. I was in an intro to archaeology course where this one lady prefaced all her statements with "As a mother..." Like, good for you, Janet, but I don't think you popping out a couple of kids gives you any real insight into the spiritual practices and beliefs of indigenous peoples of the Amazon.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

    like being an expert on sicking a fork in the power socket

    it makes you and expert on what 220 volts feels like in your specific home not an expert on how best to makes sound choices

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  • [–] 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 child)

    I am talking more about being an expert on what is best for people, 90% of the time people with kids wanted them beforehand, so I don’t buy the good feelings they might have had raising children would apply to everyone if they simply accepted what they didn’t want and had kids themselves anyway

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  • [–] 5 points 1 week ago

    The funny thing is that all the people Ive met who have told me to have kids anyways have been like this.

    Theu said that THEY felt good giving birth to and raising their kids ....therefoee they claim to be an expert in MY situation and tell me I should have kids anyways cause itll make me feel better despite barely knowing about my situation...

    And there are probably other people out there doing the same to other people

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  • [–] 3 points 1 week ago (4 children)

    No, it really doesn't. It makes them an expert on their kids. Implying that's all kids even they would agree is wrong, because they'll tell other people not to tell them how to raise their kids. Also, regardless of that, it doesn't even imply they're doing a good job raising their kids. They could be raising shitty kids. Ignoring all advice blinds you to ways you can improve.

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  • [–] -1 points 1 week ago (3 children)

    I said 'usually' and 'more of an expert'. Take a chill pill. Not having kids usually means you don't have have the experience, so you're certainly not an expert. I'm not sure who is ignoring advice in your interpretation of this scenario; if you don't have kids you really shouldn't be giving advice on raising kids! Generally giving unsolicited advice is a bad idea. No one should be advising someone else to have kids, or not to.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

    ....You said two things that were just completely , laughably wrong .

    Bro if a pediatric psychologist who has been in their field for like 60 years , hasnt been involved in any controversy , but dooesnt have kids of their own DNA wants to give other people advice on general ideas of how to healthily raise kids ? ANY parent would be clearly smokkng the pipe if they didnt listen to that advice.

    and secondly , it doesnt matter who gives who on advice on whether they should have kids or not just as long as its adults talking about that adviice. If a 60 year old who is STILL unsure comes to me and asks me for advice on if they should have kids or not ...Im 30... do you really think thatt it would still be a bad idea to give that person advice on not havinng children despite the fact that Im muuch younger than them? At the age of 60 no human has the ability to regularly give birth to children without birth defects. and at that age infertility is commonality amongst humans. A persom is crazy if they dont give advice to a person who is in their mid 50s or early 60s to just not have children cause a child born that age will almost certainly have some sort of defect, the parents will be too old to raise that child, hecl even having a healthy pregnancy at that age is a monumental feat that most women cant meet through no fault of their own.

    Also the majority of humans oof all ages dont even have reliable access to competent sexual education, birth controls, steriliziations and abortions - so even if you did advise them to not have children .... theyd have no way of following that advice other than NEVER having sex... But most adults rrport not identifying as asexual so that means most of them will attempt to find ways to have sex with othher adults. Surveys show that most adults report eventually having had sex at least once. Surveys also show that tmost adults report already being a parennt or having the desire fo eventually become a parent. SO that tmeams that most adults will probably eventually , sometimes accidentally, produce a child. Now that I think about it, as things stand today advising a person not to have children is almost useless cauuse 1. most adults will become a parent voluntarily eventually according to what theyve said in surveys annd 2. most people dont even have access to the things that would prevent accidental pregnancies like competent sexual education, steriliizations and biirth controls or things to preveent regretful parenthood, like abortion.

    Edit:: also one final thing Ill addd is that the childfree lifestyle is often ommitted from media all over the planet so most addults dont even know that being childfree is an options. In russia foor example all mentions of 'childfree'ism are banned and its mention is an arrestable offence. Unsure adults who stucK in these types of previous scenarios I juust talked about should DEFINIITELY be given advice on if they should consider and soul search inside themselves if they are childfree or not.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

    Exactly.

    Nobofy can talk about what is best for anyone else unless theyre an expert in the person's specific situation.

    Your comment reminded me that I ised to think that the birth control pill was a poison that needs to be banned globally because of that one TedTalk from that lady who said that the birth control pill had poisoned some of her clients

    BUT THEN I saw this video from this gynecologist : https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Eb4-MOubIyM where she talked about how the birth control pill isnt used only for birth control. SOme poeple use the birth control pill for endometriosis. Some people use it for PCOS. Heck, some men or even transitioning men probably use the pill cause of hormonal issues here and there. Basically what she wanted to hammer out was this: "The birth contrpl pill poisons SOME people due to its effects ya ya ya, but the birth control pill is essential to life for other people. Basically humans, despite sharing 99% of the same genetics, are all very different because of that 1%. Some things that poisons some humans will be life-saving for othere humans. HRT is mandatory for some seniors but will absolutely poison most toddlers ....so do we now ban all forms of HRT? Or do we use HRT in a case-by-case basis that experts have either studied and say will help certain people or are currently in the process of conducting studies on?"

    One reason why I got my vasectomy was cause I was afraid my future wife or furture girfriend would have negative effects from the birth control pil when I met her.... but Im not an endocrinogist in any way...so how was I supposed to know that the birth contrll pill would have significant negaitve effects on her in particular? I havent even met her yet....so how do I know her situation? lol

    What Im trying to say is that the decision to take the birth control pill is like the decisoon to e becoming a parent in some ways. It is up to each person to carefully search their soul AND to seek expert help to determine what is best for them based on their situation.

    Nobody ahould feel like theyre being forced to become a parent. nobody should feel like theyre being forced to take the pill.

    Case-by-case basis and each persom has to determine if theyre a special case

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