A question, are You sure, You did not mess between "I don't want" and "I want but have priorities"?

All problems of surgery You wrote, cost, insurance, house, recovery, quality of surgery - it's all matter of money. Or more, matter of priorities where to invest money You have/get. Priorities.

As for me, I wish to have it, maybe over time, oh I barely started hrt and theres lot lot lot other stuff on my todo list.

If that may help, I also have many near-to-impossible things on my todo list, I'd like to earn million € on my bank account, in a legal way if possible... yet I know the chances for that, well, yeah. But I have this on my todo list, some bottom of the list. Then, I do accept that I may never finish the list. My bottom is not on top of the list, probably not even in the middle part, but it is there. I will probably live without being a millionaire and probably without bottom, and without many other wishes done.

Don't be sad of not getting EVERYTHING. Be happy with ALL You get, with all prios You choose.