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Have you been sexually assaulted or coerced into sex? (piefed.social)
submitted 4 weeks ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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I have. And I think folks should be able to talk about it without being stigmatized or harassed for sharing their experiences.

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[–] 80 points 4 weeks ago (6 children)

I have been coerced before, by my ex wife.

Long story made short, if she wanted sex and I didn't, and I said no, it would always pan out the same way. We'd start at "Did I do something wrong?" And end up at "everyone hates me and I should just go ahead and kill myself." So I stopped saying no even if I didn't want to, because honestly it was faster to just give her what she wanted.

As a man, it feels so minor compared to what everyone else will associate with sexual abuse, but my therapist tells me abuse is abuse and that nobody would question it if the genders were reversed.

It's had effects even 5 years after we've separated, but I'm getting better. Learning to take up space again.

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  • [–] 15 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

    An ex (female) would scream, cry and otherwise force me if I set boundaries

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  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    It's not minor at all. She sounds really manipulative and in desperate need of professional help. I hope she gets it before she hurts more people.

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  • [–] 1 point 3 weeks ago

    We were young and both had our issues, and we're both better off separated.

    I've found a new relationship (when you find the right person, you understand why it didn't work with anyone else) and I'm in a much better place overall.

    She's now a he (FtM trans) and is much more stable as a result. He's a teacher at a school in a city 4.5 hours away from me, and has remarried.

    I consider myself an LGTBQ+ ally, and I fully support my ex's right to transition and be recognized as his preferred gender. And I can still say that my ex wife was a manipulative piece of work who left scars on me, so I just don't want anything at all to do with him, even if he's better.

    He deserves happiness, but he can be happy over there, 4.5 hours away.

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