We were young and both had our issues, and we're both better off separated.

I've found a new relationship (when you find the right person, you understand why it didn't work with anyone else) and I'm in a much better place overall.

She's now a he (FtM trans) and is much more stable as a result. He's a teacher at a school in a city 4.5 hours away from me, and has remarried.

I consider myself an LGTBQ+ ally, and I fully support my ex's right to transition and be recognized as his preferred gender. And I can still say that my ex wife was a manipulative piece of work who left scars on me, so I just don't want anything at all to do with him, even if he's better.

He deserves happiness, but he can be happy over there, 4.5 hours away.