It was just after 2 a.m. on a pitch-black Friday morning when Bernadette Greene-Placentia’s life changed. The Democratic candidate for Congressional District 8 strolled across a parking lot to repair a damaged campaign sign. It was a routine she’d followed all summer. This time, she only made it a few yards.

An attacker smashed her over the head. She blacked out. She woke up to find a strange man on top of her.

Greene-Placentia struggled to open her eyes. She felt a sharp pain below her waist. The attacker was pulling his penis out of her.

She heard him mumble something like, “-ic bitch, not a very good fuck,” which her mind filled in as “Democratic bitch,” she recalled. She wasn’t sure that was exactly what he said.

One leg was out of her jean capris. She wore brand-new tennis shoes and a campaign t-shirt. Another man came over. Greene-Placentia felt his weight nudging her left leg further apart. She began swinging her foot at him. “Not even worth it,” she heard the man say as he moved away. He wore black boots and had small feet, she recalled.

The two men left Greene-Placentia face down in the parking lot. The hatch of her silver Jeep Grand Cherokee was still open. The car was still running. She heard music.

She doesn’t remember pulling up her pants or picking herself off the asphalt parking lot. She doesn’t remember closing her Jeep’s hatch and putting her foot on the gas. She doesn’t remember pulling her car into the driveway and collapsing into her bed.

“It’s just these little tiny flashes of things that I do remember,” Greene-Placentia said in an interview with Phoenix New Times. “As much as I don’t want to remember, I’ve tried very, very hard to remember more stuff. But that’s where I’m at.”

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[–] [S] 309 points 1 month ago (79 children)

I'm sick and tired of men telling me that rape culture doesn't exist, that rape victims should have done something different, they should have worn something different, they should have not gone out alone, I'm fucking sick of all of it.

We have a problem with misogyny and rape in this country. It doesn't exist in a vacuum on its own.

Trump is merely a symptom of the rot.

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  • [–] [S] 35 points 1 month ago (32 children)

    False rape allegations happen, but they're much more rare than actual rape.

    The amount of support prison rape has in society is a real part of our rape culture. When rape is celebrated as a valid punishment, it helps support the same rape culture that supports questioning victims' stories. That they must have done something to deserve it.

    It's all tied together.

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  • [–] [S] 19 points 1 month ago (30 children)

    how they should not have been convicted of a crime they may or may not have committed and sentenced

    Then you should be more clear.

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  • [–] [S] 19 points 1 month ago (28 children)

    You're welcome to clarify your statement.

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  • [–] 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (8 children)

    Alright, now you're just being deliberately obtuse. Either clarify your comment or don’t but just stop wasting everyone's time with this playing dumb act.

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  • [–] [S] 17 points 1 month ago (4 children)

    This is how rape apologists work. They like to dance around the subject, draw up false equivalences, and sow discord in order to obfuscate the true crime here - that this woman was raped by two men.

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  • [–] [S] 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    Which measures or actions do rape victims need to complete before the wider public believes they’ve been raped?

    Why are you avoiding the question?

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  • [–] 20 points 1 month ago* (2 children)

    Everything. I read your statement twice and it reads the way Velma assumed because you didn't say what you meant and just beat around the bush. You may think you said one thing, but you communicated another.

    And you are still refusing to say what you actually mean. If you can't distill your point into one simple sentence, then you don't have anything worth saying.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 month ago*

    And your comment suggests you always knew you were going to say something contrarian and confusing and that you were never going to explain. And instead insist that you said something that wasn't what you knew you would actually be communicating to everyone who takes issue to what you do say.

    You advertised your own character with your piss-poor responses to all opportunities to clarify, and a complete avoidance of it. Now you have to sit in it. Complaining about how you chose to portray yourself is a problem of your own making.

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  • [–] [S] 14 points 1 month ago (14 children)

    Which measures or actions do rape victims need to complete before the wider public believes they've been raped? I'll go ahead and condense our two conversations into one right here.

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  • [–] [S] 12 points 1 month ago (12 children)

    Why are you avoiding the question?

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  • [–] [S] 13 points 1 month ago (10 children)

    I had already quoted the line of your comment that needed clarifying, it's not on me that you can't read.

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  • [–] [S] 9 points 1 month ago (8 children)

    Do you think I care at this point?

    We've already done this dance many times before, minorkeys.

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  • [–] [S] 12 points 1 month ago (6 children)

    you’re kind of rough when anyone disagrees or pushes back against you.

    When the pushback is over rape and believing victims, yeah, I'm gonna get kinda rough about it.

    I still engage because I've got ADHD and about five millions thoughts in my head at any given moment, plus I'm quick witted and have strong justice sensitivity. And I've seen some of the views that are supported here (about willing and consensual 14 year olds to be exact). So yeah, I can be rough.

    Women don't have to be sweet.

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  • [–] [S] 11 points 1 month ago (4 children)

    It helps heal the decades where I was taught to be silent and subservient to men, that women should be seen and not heard, and that my opinion has no value or place in public. I do this for me, not to change your mind.

    This is something I choose to do. I enjoy trolling back rape apologists and being stubborn in the face of vitriol for being an outspoken woman. I enjoy making this place more welcoming to other women and minorities.

    I am not a product of you.

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  • [–] 57 points 1 month ago (11 children)

    Tbh we also have a problem with misogyny on the threadiverse.

    Why does this have downvotes? Someone got raped and OP is justifiably mad about the state of things, why do people here feel that's something to take issue with?

    We really like to feel progressive and like we're fighting the good fight here, until someone posts a sexist meme and you see what the comment section looks like, and it becomes clear a lot of folks haven't interrogated how they look at women or women's issues even a little bit since leaving reddit

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  • [–] [S] 60 points 1 month ago (10 children)

    Some of the downvotes are because I am one of the few voices on the fediverse speaking out against those sexist memes and such. There are some people that don't like outspoken women and I have a few stalkers that are very dedicated.

    But as you can see from other comments, there is a problem with misogyny here. The kneejerk questioning of rape victims is just one sign of it.

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  • [–] 32 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 child)

    I was reading a comment in a post today that was about becoming a regular at places was how to build community. The comment was from a disabled and moderately attractive (direct quote from the commenter) woman who said she avoided becoming a regular because people felt that they could take advantage of her if they knew her routine.

    And it just made me sad. Nobody should have to go through that. Nobody should feel ostracized because they are afraid someone will abuse them.

    I had, and for the most part still do, agree that it's generally good to become a regular at a place. But I hadn't thought of it from that woman's perspective before and I respect and understand her decision.

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  • [–] 24 points 1 month ago (6 children)

    You have (at least) a few fans too.

    I have a deep respect and appreciation of your posts and commentary. We sure as shit don't have enough people like you.

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  • [–] [S] 16 points 1 month ago (4 children)

    I really appreciate that, TaterTot :3

    Hopefully with enough time and stubbornness, more people like us will feel more comfortable here in the Fediverse!

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  • [–] 10 points 1 month ago

    I don't have you tagged since you're quite visible here, but I notice and respect your opinions, even if I don't always completely agree with them. Please keep up the fight, we need more passionate people who are willing to speak their minds.

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  • [–] 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 child)

    I think you've already had a decent impact on it here. Still a ways to go and all that, but it doesn't feel as entirely focused on men's perspective as it did before you and a handful of other very vocal women got here. That focus on men had me considering leaving for a while, something I no longer am considering.

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  • [–] 10 points 1 month ago

    That is unsurprising and also upsetting. That shit makes me sad.

    People love to pat themselves on the back for being one of the good guys until they actually have to do work to confront the things they've been taught and have internalized, and engage with the fact that they've allowed themseveled to be comfortable with some shit they shouldn't be.

    And its frustrating. I see casual sexism here more often than any other brand of bigotry.

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  • [–] 21 points 1 month ago

    I'm reminded that there are some cultures where, if people want to reserve a seat in a restaurant or something, they'll leave their purse or wallet there unguarded. And nobody steals it. That's their culture.

    So, I think when people claim rape culture doesn't exist, they don't understand what that means. If rape culture didn't exist, then it would make no difference what a woman was wearing or what she was doing. She would be able to feel safe and feel confident that nothing would happen to her. That's so far off of American culture right now that it's not even debatable.

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  • [–] 79 points 1 month ago (4 children)

    I was listening to an excerpt of Jimmy Carr interview a few days ago in which he was arguing that one of best ways to combat toxic masculinity was to encourage young men to go down to the pub with the lads. That men in groups will keep checks on others within the group.

    I respect Carr and his crusade against toxic masculinity, but I am a guy and a lifelong feminist (thanks mom) that grew up in an extremely misogynistic culture. Sure, my friends would have kept me in check, but that's because we were always a mixed gender and sexuality group. Most "lads" crews I knew, once drunk and rowdy, were more likely to gang rape a girl than not if she told them off. Sorry Jimmy, humans are still way to close to close to chimp to be left unchecked.

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  • [–] 29 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

    I don't know how feminist I'd consider him. As I recall, he and Stephen Fry both drifted right in their politics over the past decade or so:

    "the problem with American communism, which is woke, is better described as American Marxism. And what it is is instead of trying to redistribute wealth, which is a perfectly reasonable thing to want to do, they want to redistribute status. And that is a recipe for fucking madness" -Jimmy Carr

    Stephen Fry ended up praising Jordan Peterson or some such, Carr started talking anti-woke politics on podcasts after being "cancelled" by a heckler.

    From a student news website:

    "Jimmy Carr has built his career on his deliberately offensive style of comedy – nothing is off limits and nobody is safe. His new special, aptly-titled His Dark Material, is supposed to epitomise this ethos, as Carr spends an hour bombarding his audience with endless quips about hipsters, vegans, gingers, women (including his own girlfriend, who sounds like a very lucky lady), victims of sexual abuse, little people, and anybody else he feels hasn’t been at the receiving end of enough grief lately. His pièce de resistance comes in the form of a section at the end of the special filled with jokes Carr brazenly calls his “career enders”, in which he says that few people know about the fact that an estimated half a million Roma people were murdered during the Holocaust because nobody wants to “talk about the positives”. One man’s suffering is another man’s slapstick."

    https://thestudentnews.co.uk/2022/03/03/the-charge-of-the-woke-brigade-the-case-against-jimmy-carr/

    He tried to defend the Holocaust joke by saying it brings attention to non-jewish victims of the Holocaust which earned him every comedians highest achievement when going anti-woke - being defended by Jeremy Clarkson.

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  • [–] 47 points 1 month ago* (19 children)

    I think it's much more prevalent than people want to admit.

    Otherwise, spontaneous gang rapes wouldn't occur with such frequency. Why are there always so many men that are up for it randomly? What are the odds, yeah? Seriously, that wouldn't be possible if it was a rarity.

    They'll rape animals and men, too, because they're rapists. Women and children are smaller, so they are preyed on much more, but if all women disappeared tomorrow, they'd still rape whomever/whatever else they could.

    Sure, this could be a political ploy in this case, I know nothing. But the reason such a ploy is believable is because it's so common.

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  • [–] [S] 41 points 1 month ago (18 children)

    It’s way more prevalent than most men want to admit, that’s for sure.

    Women have either been victims themselves or know someone who has been a victim. The rate is close to 1 in 3 women have been raped.

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  • [–] 13 points 1 month ago (16 children)

    It's 1 in 5, but it is still a lot and way too high.

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  • [–] [S] 26 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    It depends if you’re looking worldwide or at the US. It also depends if you’re looking at reported cases vs unreported.

    But yes, it’s still way too high.

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  • [–] 9 points 1 month ago (11 children)

    Republican women are some of the most vocal rape deniers. It's not about hating genders, it's about the people that promote a culture where these behaviors flourish.

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  • [–] [S] 12 points 1 month ago* (10 children)

    It's still men doing most of the rape and sexual assault, which is what P1nkman was referring with their outrage.

    I hate this game we all have to play - avoiding saying which gender it is that perpetrates rape and sexual assault the most.

    It's men. Men do it the most. Not all men rape, but overwhelmingly it's men who rape others - women, children, and other men.

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  • [–] [S] 14 points 1 month ago (4 children)

    This is not just in Republican culture.

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  • [–] [S] 15 points 1 month ago

    I'm not trying to be prickly about rape, I am prickly about rape.

    This extends far beyond just Republican culture and it does no one any good to pretend like being a Democrat or progressive means one is immune from supporting rape culture.

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  • [–] 9 points 1 month ago

    So I think something that's important to note is that most people aren't talking about trying to "fix" men - it's more about the systemic failings that allow anyone to think abusing women is okay. Those failings exist throughout society, and they need to stop.

    So many women have faced rape and abuse throughout their lives and frankly, being a bit "prickly" about it is a measured response to that horror.

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