I’m sorry. I’m just weak I guess.

Very tired right now. I’m sorry if this is written very chaotically. I’ll also be speaking relative to US politics here.

I am from a very, very red part of the US. Ever seen pictures of small towns with gas stations covered in comical amounts of Trump flags? That’s literally where I’m at. I honestly wouldn’t mind living in a small town if not for all of that.

My family is like that. My coworkers are like that. I lose any contact either family and possibly lose my Job if I transition or come out. My step brother had an interest in turning Catholic, and this was enough to make my mom tear up. I can’t imagine what coming out to them would be like.

I also help my parents out with my mentally handicapped brother and I fear this will further complicate things.

I know people have come out to some very hateful people. But I cannot stress enough how much I would become an absolute pariah if I did. How much hate would be aimed in my direction. Maybe the capability really is in me, and I’m just a coward.

But even if I did: I’m making what is minimum wage in some states. Not sure how much of my transition I could afford.

And what if my dysphoria is worse after the fact. What if all I’ll ever see in a man in a dress?

I’ve always envied the bodies and mannerisms of women. I present as a woman online. I practice a feminine voice in the car. I take on feminine posture behind locked doors. I browse Amazon for cute clothes but never buy them. All in all I’m just playing pretend.

I can’t do this.

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[–] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Not trans, not fem, but my best friend is and we live in the most conservative state in the US. Even in shitty states there are still going to be supportive and loving people who love you for you. I helped organize a mutual aid and defence network in our community because we all knew that the state wouldn't help my friends if someone wanted to do them harm.

As far as dealing with parents, thats hard even if you don't add gender into the mix. I myself haven't talked to one of my parents because they didn't agree with me being in a biracial marriage. It took me a while to realize that conditional love just wasn't worth the time and effort, if they can't love me for being my best self, or at very least respect the people I love. Then their "love" was just a tool they used to dangle in front of me to make me behave the way they wanted.

I would suggest looking for LGBTQ spaces in your area or the largest metro near you and make an excuse to visit them as often as you can manage. You will usually find at least a few people who have gone through something very similar to yourself who could lend an ear.

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