Interesting. Where I want to go for a first date is not the same as where I want to go just to refuel. In my mind they need to facilitate different things. Are they the same to you?

its where I assume she wants to go. This is pretty much my experience of most things in relationships. I try my best to please her and am left completely unsatisfied myself.

Sounds like that's a suffering of your own making, to be frank. You're ignoring the "take" part of give-and-take.

I too tend to neglect myself and my needs in relationships, which is why I swore off them until I had learnt to balance my priorities so I wouldn't forget myself.

But I also fully knew that neglecting myself was something I did, not my partners. If I enthusiastically choose what they want to do and always to predict what my partner wants, instead of expressing my own wants and finding a compromise or taking turns, then they never get the opportunity to do things for me or compromise - because they think we're both getting what we want already.

If you are expressing your wants and still never get catered to, then it's probably not a good relationship. But if you're not expressing yourself you are setting your partner (and the relationship) up for failure.

I absolutely think you should make a suggestion that takes your own personality into account for a first date. Of course we dont need to dump all of our worst traits at once, but you're not there pretending to be the perfect fit like you're auditioning for the role of partner, you're both there to figure out if you mesh well together.

Plus, hot dogs by a camp fire was one of the best dates I've been on (wouldn't recommend deep woods or other very remote locations for a first date with a stranger though). I wouldn't want to date someone who didn't like camp fires!