226
I'd love to hear them (piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/autism@lemmy.world
108 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] 14 points 4 months ago (7 children)

Being allowed to do things my way, even if it makes no sense to others. I do lots of things differently to everyone else, because they work for me, and the people I live with are respectful of that. I've had to make lots of changes recently due to being in Autistic burnout, and that has resulted in me doing even more things "my way". Sometimes, when I'm struggling with speaking, it means saying things very briefly - one or two words, like "tea?" instead of "do you want a cup of tea?" or "out" when I need to leave a shop because it's overwhelming me. Other times, it's just being allowed to do my grounding routines, like getting my breakfast in peace, because I get muddled or distracted if someone is hovering round me in the kitchen while I do it.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • hideshow 7 child comments
    •
  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    This comment resonates with me big time.

    As far as doing things my own way, I have intentionally taken on some big projects in my hobbies over the past couple years, and I have intentionally avoided getting help on them even if it's offered freely, and even if that means it takes me 5x longer to get it done. The outcome is not only better, but more importantly the process itself is much more rewarding and therapeutic because I did it my way. I redid what I wanted to, I focused on what I wanted to, I took breaks and recharged according to my own body, and I have detailed first principles knowledge of how the entire thing came together.

    I haven't really thought about the difficulty speaking and shortening it to single words, but the difficulty getting out those simple phrases sounds like some of my past experiences. Especially as somebody with a very verbose internal dialogue.

    Same with sometimes just not wanting another person there while I'm getting shit done, even if they are a loved one with a friendly demeanor.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
    •
  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Collaboration can be good too, but on your own terms. Agree that knowing how things tick is a huge part of why I like doing things that way.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
    •
  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (1 child)

    Oh for sure. One nice part about my current job is feeling like being part of a functioning team.

    Constant isolation isn't necessary or good. But for certain personal projects that I am designing and building from scratch, solo can be so nice.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
    •
  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    I tend to prefer to be the helper rather than the helped! Feeling part of a good team is important, and I had that for a while a couple of years back, but management spoilt it and destroyed what we had. I'm still in contact with some of those team-mates, but we've all left one way or another.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

    So, Hi, I stumbled here from all, and now I think I might be autistic.

    Like, feeling stressed out and overwhelmed because of a break in routine or not being able to do things my way (because any other way is inferior and this is why...I took the time to find the best way to do it, through repetition and trial and error. Like loading groceries on the conveyor belt at the supermarket...frozen stuff goes on first, then cold stuff, then shelf-stables, then medicine, chemicals, and breads...exceptions for large heavy things like cases of water or soda...those stay in the cart and become the foundation for the packed bags, obviously. That way frozen stuff gets bagged first, and usually has polygonal packaging so it makes a good base at the bottom of the bag. Then the refrigerated stuff is kept cool from the frozen stuff on the bottom of the bag, and now when I go to unload everything, all the stuff that goes in the fridge is in the same bags. Naturally all the stuff that goes in the pantry, medicine cabinet, and under the sink/laundryroom are all together, too. Though sometimes I just don't bag and put all the stuff right back into my cart and load it up into a tote or a hamper in my trunk. Bagging groceries is ultimately a waste of time when you're just gonna unbag them in 10 minutes anyway)

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
    •
  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    I mean there's more to being autistic that just that kind of thing, but that does sound pretty close to my kinds of routines - arrived at through thoughtful trial and error. Self knowledge is always useful - especially learning what your "failure modes" might be (overstimulation, shutdowns, etc.) which can be really harmful if you don't know what's happening, and how to deal with it. I'm still learning a lot of that, but making progress at the moment.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    There are some self evaluation tests you can take if you're interested (not hard to find on google), though none are perfect, high scores are a pretty good indication. That whole explanation definitely sounds like something an autistic person would do.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent