Sigh.
Forget about all of your W2 earnings for a moment. Forget about the 8.5 hours a day you spend working for someone else. Forget about your bi-weekly paycheck. None of that stuff matters here, or to the IRS.
Forget all of that, hold an annual garage sale.
Now, you're a business. You get to deduct the poster board you purchase advertising your sale. You get to deduct the balloons and price stickers.
You also get to deduct that part of your rent or mortgage that you spend on the garage where you keep your inventory. That is now your "warehouse", which is part of your (non-employment) business. How about your attic? The attic is part of your home. You pay mortgage/rent/taxes on that part of your home right along with every other part. I doubt you use it for anything but storage anyway. Put the crap in your attic on your lawn with a price tag once a year, and you get to deduct the part of your housing payment that goes toward your attic.
You get to deduct the cost of acquiring your inventory. That is also a business expense.
Spend an afternoon in a lawnchair while your neighbors look through your junk inventory, and you get to claim thousands of dollars in business expenses.
If you're worried the IRS might take issue with you if you only do this once a year, you can put up an ebay, etsy, craigslist, or marketplace listing, and it becomes a year-round operation. You are now an online retailer, and your annual garage sale is just a clearance sale for that business. If you're still not sure, you can file paperwork with the state to be able to collect sales tax (and deduct the filing fee as a business expense).
You can’t say, employee taxes aren’t unfair, just be an employer. It’s ridiculous!
I absolutely can, and it's not ridiculous at all. The problem you're having here is that you think you need to be Walmart in order to call yourself a business. You don't. You think you need to generate a profit to be a business. You don't. (You do need to try to generate a profit. But, very few businesses are actually able to successfully generate a profit, and yours doesn't need to be successful either. "Trying" is enough.) I am quite confident that many of the things you do in your day-to-day life can already be categorized as "business", or could be considered a business with slight tweaks. You are legally entitled to count expenditures on those activities as deductible business expenses.