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The ADHD tax (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 months ago by to c/adhd@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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[+] -9 points 5 months ago* (8 children)

Genuinely not trying to be an asshole:

Set a daily timer on your phone just labelled 'PERISHABLE VEGETABLES IN FRIDGE' ... ?

Like, have it go off every day?

Or maybe label it 'Meal Prep Time'?

Set 'appointments' in your calendar for specific meals, a few times a week, with the actual instructions for making a meal?

Or, like, once upon a time, it used to just be fairly normal to set aside a few hours on the weekend (or some off work day) to do a significant amount of meal prep, store it for the week, then that stuff is either good to go, or just needs minimal additional work (quick flash in a toaster oven or what not) to make it good to go, day of.

I dunno, as best I can tell I don't have ADHD, but I did have major depression for a while, and part of what helped me out of that was just strictly regimenting myself, untill I didn't need the alarms anymore. I know ADHD ain't the same, but... might be useful/relevant?

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  • [–] 33 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    The problem with daily reminders is that eventually you just get so used to the reminder that you tune it out completely and it stops mattering entirely.

    They can work well for a lot of people but at least for me... after about a month theyre effectively not there anymore

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago

    Agreed. When a therapist or friend or anyone, thinking that they’re being caring, suggests to me, “How about setting a reminder?” as though I’ve never tried that, I’m like, “… Okay, how about I show you my multi-layered alarms/reminders lists? Buckle up, buddy!”

    Or the genuine question, “Have you ever tried a planner?” Let me show you the entire half bookshelf I have of planners. Now let me describe to you how/where each system went wrong and what was happening in my life at the time. Oh wait— you’re gone now

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  • [–] 18 points 5 months ago* (1 child)

    A huge part of what makes ADHD a disorder is the fact that it's incredibly difficult to form and retain habits (aka executive dysfunction). Alarms, reminders, etc. might increase the likelihood that any given task gets done, but not by much, and it doesn't guarantee that task will get done with any regularity whatsoever. The other part of executive dysfunction is difficulty with task initiation. I can't speak for every ADHD'er but, if I manage to remember something needs done, there's a solid chance I simply wont be able to get it started. I'll sit on the couch for literal hours, knowing that I need to do the laundry, that if I don't do the laundry I won't have clothes to wear tomorrow, that it'll take me 5 minutes to get the load started, that I would be so much better off if I just did them, that I would feel good having accomplished just one thing today, on and on. But my body physically won't move. Ill be sat still, staring blankly at a wall for hours, screaming at myself to just do SOMETHING, and yet I can't will myself to move.

    You saying "just set a reminder" is akin to telling a depressed person to just not be depressed. Like, gee thanks! I didn't know you can just do things. Guess I don't have "can't just do things disorder" after all!

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  • [–] 7 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    Moral equivalent of "just don't do that". It isn't super helpful. The key part of the meme is the third line. The interest or motivation to do the original thing is gone. The reminders become shameful which just starts a spiral of avoidance and executive dysfunction.

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago

    I mean, I was chronically depressed, with major depressive disorder, for years.

    I also had a dopamine problem, I also had 0, negative motivation, nearly all the time, and went through the shame -> avoidance -> executive dysfunction loop.

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