929
I guessed (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 months ago by to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
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[–] 51 points 5 months ago* (30 children)

Deer ARE beautiful creatures, but as a person who lives in the north I can absolutely confirm they are some of the dumbest fucking animals on the planet. They have exactly 1 reaction to any stimuli. Flight. Run like hell or ??die?? In my area they panic, run straight at headlights and cars screaming past.
Really THINK about that. A robin, a crow, or an ant has more thinking power in an pea-sized sized brain.
They're not going to be splitting the atom any time soon. Don't feel bad for them, just admire the one standing out in the field for its beauty and watch the F out on a country road.

Venison is delicious. Sorry not sorry. If they weren't hunted we'd be drowning in them.

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  • [–] 25 points 5 months ago (9 children)

    To your last sentence, if we hadn't killed their predators we wouldn't have that problem.

    And venison salami is the best.

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  • [–] 20 points 5 months ago (8 children)

    To your point, I think if their natural predators were still around we'd also have a lot fewer children around.

    Venison salami IS delicious.

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  • [–] 10 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    I'm here to represent the Wolf In Your Neighborhood Movement.

    With enough funds raised, we can deliver a pack of wild ass wolves to a neighborhood of your choosing. It might be yours, it might be that of a neighboring community.

    Our wolves are bred to the highest standards and are promised to be the most lean, fast, and aggressive wolves you can find anywhere. They're real assholes.

    They solve many problems such as:

    People who jog in the road Irritating pets left outside/unsupervised Irritating children left outside/unsupervised Too many deer Humans that lack common sense Humans that cannot run fast Humans that are taking out their trash Porch pirates Caribbean Pirates Door to door solicitations Religious folks

    If you're willing to donate money to our cause, we can have a pack of wolves into the neighborhood of your choosing in under 30 days.

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  • [–] 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    Don't let your kids wander into the wilderness unattended and they won't get preyed upon.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago

    Yeah, but all the inattentive parents can now successfully pass on their genes and social values... Which is why we're seeing a huge age verification push online right now. If those people or their children got mauled or eaten at higher rates then we wouldn't have this problem.

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  • [–] 11 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

    Yeah, but... Why do we base a creature's right to exist on their intelligence as perceived by us? We have no idea what headlights look like to them or how stressful it is being a keystone prey species. I certainly wouldn't want to walk a mile in their shoes. Personally they're a massive nuisance and garden pest, but I understand we brought our* houses to them and not the other way around, so I don't hold it against them.

    They're not going to be splitting the atom any time soon.

    Oh, well actually that I do hold against them. Nevermind.

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago

    Kind of true by how we treat humans as well, actually. Even the most progressive person seems to cheer for a Darwin Award from a MAGA member.

    Intelligence is repeatedly the one exception to the eugenics is bad rule, I know best about that.

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  • [–] 5 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    Part of me wants the USA to have a venison industry so it’s commonly available in grocery stores, off the efforts of hunters.

    But, that industry would commit itself to forever existence and growth. If someone could be trusted to let that practice stop when deer population balances, or even work to ensure people replace farmed meat consumption with hunted, then it could be beneficial.

    But…yeah, that’s a big “if”.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    I'd be happy if the DNR just let people in the butcher businesses handle the road kills, IF they agree to donate the meat to local food pantries.
    But yeah- fuck capitalism either way.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    No no, they have two responses, flight and freeze.

    If they only had flight they'd be somewhat more predictable. As it is, you can't trust them to even move when needed.

    And I agree that venison is fucking delicious. Love me some venison mince ragu, get rosemary in the meat. Mmm.

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    I suppose that's fair, freeze wasn't dramatic enough for me to consider that.

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago

    It can feel a bit dramatic when they're there literally a deer in your headlights, and you're on a dark, icy road in the backwoods, doing 80kph.

    And the motherfucker won't move.

    The only thing to do is to try to dodge them from whichever way they're coming from.

    And sometimes, it's not a 60kg deer, but a 500kg moose. And them mofos are almost as stupid, twice as stubborn and also have an aggressive mode. (Albeit it's kinda rare.)

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago (6 children)

    and watch the F out on a country road.

    This is the internet. You don't have to censor yourself. You can say fuck here.

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago (4 children)

    What if they want to censor themselves? Don’t they have the right to do that without this stupid f’ing comment being commented all the time.

    This is the internet you don’t have to comment on things you don’t like, you can move along.

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  • [–] -1 points 5 months ago*

    This is the internet you don’t have to comment on things you don’t like, you can move along.

    Ha, I get it! You're complaining about their complaint by doing the exact same thing as they are, ignoring your very own advice!

    I believe because it is absurd

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