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[–] 25 points 5 months ago (9 children)

To your last sentence, if we hadn't killed their predators we wouldn't have that problem.

And venison salami is the best.

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  • [–] 20 points 5 months ago (8 children)

    To your point, I think if their natural predators were still around we'd also have a lot fewer children around.

    Venison salami IS delicious.

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  • [–] 10 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    I'm here to represent the Wolf In Your Neighborhood Movement.

    With enough funds raised, we can deliver a pack of wild ass wolves to a neighborhood of your choosing. It might be yours, it might be that of a neighboring community.

    Our wolves are bred to the highest standards and are promised to be the most lean, fast, and aggressive wolves you can find anywhere. They're real assholes.

    They solve many problems such as:

    People who jog in the road Irritating pets left outside/unsupervised Irritating children left outside/unsupervised Too many deer Humans that lack common sense Humans that cannot run fast Humans that are taking out their trash Porch pirates Caribbean Pirates Door to door solicitations Religious folks

    If you're willing to donate money to our cause, we can have a pack of wolves into the neighborhood of your choosing in under 30 days.

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  • [–] 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    Don't let your kids wander into the wilderness unattended and they won't get preyed upon.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago

    Yeah, but all the inattentive parents can now successfully pass on their genes and social values... Which is why we're seeing a huge age verification push online right now. If those people or their children got mauled or eaten at higher rates then we wouldn't have this problem.

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