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[–] 167 points 6 months ago (13 children)
  • [–] 86 points 6 months ago (7 children)

    People really just steal stories and pass them off as their own.

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  • [–] 59 points 6 months ago (4 children)

    You really think people would do that? Go on the internet and tell lies?

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  • [–] 40 points 6 months ago (3 children)

    My toaster caught on fire yesterday and when I realized it there was a flame like two feet high almost touching my cabinets so I panicked and picked it up so it wouldn't catch my cabinets on fire but then I was just standing in my kitchen holding a flaming toaster and my dad saw me and didn't say anything and I didn't know what to do so I ran outside with it and threw it at the ground but it was on fire so I picked it up and threw it again and again until it went out but then my grass was on fire so I beat it with a shovel until that went out too. Then I came back inside and my dad was just like

    "Whatcha cookin baguettefish"

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  • [–] 18 points 6 months ago

    It's contagious. You see, the virus spreads with the ashes of burnt grass. These tiny particles are inhaled or ingested accidentally by another person, and after a few weeks, they burn their toast, and are compelled to take the burning toaster outside, burning more grass and restarting the cycle all over again.

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