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How about you guys, can you guys understand my language? (lemmy.world)
submitted 7 months ago by to c/autism@lemmy.world
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The usual misunderstanding. Trying to learn how to naturally speak their language while still saying what I am intending to say.

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[–] [M] 3 points 7 months ago* (3 children)

I'm not sure what it is. But we are all weird so be nice, even if you don't understand it. Don't make me come back and remove mean comments. And I don't need anyone to reply trying to explain it to me.

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  • [–] [S] 0 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

    Huh? I said something mean? See, this is what I am talking about. You cannot give me a hard concrete fact, but you feel like I am attacking you. Type A. Neat and easy.

    And I don’t need anyone to reply trying to explain it to me.

    I usually operate under the following premise:

    1. "You don't get to tell me what I can say, because you of course wouldn't let me tell you what you say."
    2. "You don't get to tell me your feelings are my responsibility, because you don't care how treating me like that makes me feel."

    Usually I see people not being consistent in applying the rules they hold others to themselves.

    Any emotion or tone you are hearing is called Projection. I'm generally don't let others control my emotions anymore after I stopped naively assuming good faith as a default. Now I assume neutral is the default.

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    You did not say anything mean. I'm telling everyone else not to be mean to you. Don't make me remove my own comment. I HAVE NOT HAD ANY COFFEE YET!

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

    Apologies, I often get yelled at, and of course tone on text, I'm sure it happens all the time heheheh

    And def don't remove any comment, I think this conversation is very valuable modeling of good communication skills!

    Yeah my mind is kinda weird, I don't really have much more than a quick ping of emotion to tell me a quick tone check, but otherwise I don't really take anything personally anymore.

    Here's the wild thing. If you read what i said outloud and pretend to be a robot, you'll get the real me. But if you read it in your own voice, BAM, what does it sound like? So different right?

    Masking and Mirroring!

    And did you see how I confused what you said for something else? That MY projection back onto YOU! Crazy complex topics!

    Yet we humans like to pretend oh its just talking. How often do we really actually check whether or not we're on the same page in a conversation?

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